


Up the duff

by Winmance



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Sam, Discussion of Abortion, Fluff, Guilty Sam, Happy Ending, M/M, Mpreg, Protective Dean Winchester, Secrets, Teenager Sam Winchester, Top Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-02-05 03:55:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 30,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12786420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winmance/pseuds/Winmance
Summary: Sam had wanted his brother for as long as he could remember, and when his brother gave him what he wants the most, he couldn't be more happy.The next day however, Dean doesn't remember anything.It could had stop here, if it wasn't for the Winchesters' bad luck.Sam's 16, Dean's 20





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the amazing [readerwriterme](https://readerwriterme.tumblr.com/) who beta all this work ! I can't thanks you enough

"Sam, get the fuck out of the bathroom!” Dean yelled, banging against the door. 

“God Dean, give me five minutes please!” Sam's yells back,  holding his head in his hands; sweat dripping down his face and back. 

His brother was silent for a moment and Sam couldn’t have been more grateful. He’d been in the bathroom for twenty minutes now, which meant that they should have left ten minutes ago. 

“Are you sick or something?” He could hear concern in his brother’s voice and he smiled despite the pain in his stomach. 

“No, I… I just…” He was stopped when another wave of nausea hit him. “Just go without me. I’ll walk. It’s fine.” 

“Whatever,” Dean was pissed but didn’t push things further. 

He heard footsteps followed by the door of the motel slamming. He was relieved that Dean was gone, but he couldn’t help but feel hurt that his brother had left him. He shouldn’t be surprised though.

Dean had been spending less and less time with him, going from the garage to bars and just leaving money for Sam on the way to school. 

It had been five weeks since their night together. Dean had come home from the bar, climbed into Sam’s bed, and stroked his hair, murmuring sweet nothings into his ear before kissing him. The kiss wasn’t anything Sam had expected.  It wasn’t sweet or made of fireworks. It was more like coming home or finding the missing piece of a puzzle. It was Dean, nothing but Dean. The orgasms he gave him, however, were like fireworks. Sam couldn’t believe that sex could be that good. But he was pretty sure his brother was the reason for it. 

After, they slept together, in their underwear; Dean’s arms protectively around him, and Sam swore he’d never been so happy in his whole life. 

The next morning, he woke up alone. When Dean finally came back, he had hickeys all over his neck and smelled of cheap perfume. He slid onto the couch next to him and apologized for sleeping in his bed, blaming the alcohol. Sam didn’t say anything. Didn’t say that Dean had taken his virginity that night. That he made him feel love for the first time; had made him feel complete, normal  
even. He just nodded and claimed a headache. No one needed to know that he'd spent a whole week crying silently in the shower, feeling dirty and bad. 

Things only got worse. The guilt consumed him and made him sick every morning, sometimes even during the day. Until now, Dean hadn’t noticed anything, but that was mostly because Sam woke up an hour before him, claiming to have homework to do before school. 

His sighs, finally standing up. He has to hold himself against the wall to keep from falling. He wants to go back to bed so badly, but he needs to go to school and if he doesn’t want to miss the first period, he needs to go immediately. 

The walk to school was much harder than he thought it would be. It was cold, he was tired, his entire body was screaming for him to lie down and wait for the pain to go away. 

He’d never been so relieved to see the school building. 

“Hello Mr. Winchester,” his teacher says, holding the door open for him. 

“Hi sir. Sorry I’m late," he took his seat with his head down, not daring to look at anyone. He hates this; hates being the center of attention. 

He sits next to a boy named Brandon and digs his books and pens out of his bag as fast as he can. Brandon had been his friend since they got here a week ago, when Sam stood up to a bully who was stealing Brandon’s lunch. 

“Dude, did you run a marathon or something?” 

“What? No.” He sighs, leaning on his chair. “I was late, and I had to walk. And since when it’s so cold in October anyway?” 

“Sam, chill dude.” Brandon frowns, and only now does he realize that his voice came out much angrier than he meant for it to. 

“Sorry. It’s just…. It’s just been a rough morning, you know?” 

“Yeah, I can see that.” His friend relaxes a little, running a hand through his red hair. “But I’m not actually talking about you being late, more like, your face.” 

“What’s up with my face?” Sam’s hands automatically jump to his face, which only makes Brandon laugh. 

“You look like a truck hit you. Several times.” 

“Thanks.” He rolls his eyes, trying to concentrate on what the teacher is saying. 

“I’m serious dude, are you sure you’re alright?” 

“I’ve been sick this morning, that’s all.” 

“Again?” He almost yelled, making Sam frown. He saw some students turn their heads toward them but thankfully, no one said anything. 

“You and your big mouth I swear… Yeah, I’ve been sick again but I need you to keep it quiet, ok? ” He says, trying to hold back a smile.  

Brandon reminded him of Dean in so many ways. The way he always made Sam laugh, how protective he could be toward him, and tin his way. He always, always had to open his mouth.  

“That’s… fucked up. You should go to the doctor.” His friend leans closer to him, his eyes full of glee, “Maybe you’re pregnant.” Brandon burst into laughter, which earned them a disapproving look from their teacher. 

Flashbacks from his night with Dean filled his mind. The heat, the kisses, Dean’s hands on his body, his loving words, his dick thrusting inside of him, and then… then the warm feeling as Dean came inside of him. 

He was so screwed


	2. Chapter 2

Sam was standing awkwardly in front of the vitamin section, which had nothing to do with what he was here for. He couldn’t bring himself to move to the pregnancy section, not when there were so many people in there, watching him, ready to judge him. Which, ok, was kinda stupid since he took the bus to the next city to be sure no one would recognize him.

“Can I help you?” A tiny woman asked him. She was old, far too old for Sam to tell her that he may or may not be pregnant.

“No thanks,” he said politely.

“You’re sure? You’ve been standing here for a long time now.” She gave him a warm smile, giving Sam a wink through her glass. “Do you maybe need some protection?” she asked, already taking a pack of condoms in her hands.

“I… no… It’s… the opposite, actually.” He whispered, looking down. He refused to see the disgusted look on her face.

“Oh,” she said, before moving again. “this one is the best, but I would recommend you take several of them. You never know. Do you want a bag?”

“Yes, please.” He gave her the money as fast as he could, still not meeting her eyes. She put her hand on his, forcing him to look at her. Her blue eyes were full of compassion and she was smiling fondly. “If you need something else, you can always come back here, alright?”

He nodded gratefully to her before running out of the store. God, why does his life always have to be this hard?

He’d known he was a carrier. Known it since he was twelve and ended up in the hospital after a hunt. They ran blood tests, and gave him the news at the same time. Generally, in those cases, the family asked for contraception if there was a risk of pregnancy, some even asked for an infertility treatment. John had refused every single option that the doctor proposed. His son wasn’t gay, or bi, he said, and there wasn’t any chance of him getting pregnant as long as John was walking on this earth. Dean agreed, and promised that any man who got his brother pregnant would wish he'd never been born. Looking back, Sam could almost laugh. Of all the men on earth, he had to go and get knocked up by his brother, who didn’t even remember that he’d ever had sex with him.

As soon as he got into the motel, he locked himself in the bathroom, holding the pregnancy test with shaking hands. Dean wasn’t here, wouldn’t probably be here until tomorrow morning, and for the first time, Sam was grateful for that. His brother was probably at a bar, charming some no-name girl before fucking her in the Impala. Did he ever think about Sam; stuck alone in a dirty motel room, with no one to talk to, no one to look out for him, while he kissed her? Sam thought about it. Thought about his big brother murmuring the same things to him that he whispered to someone else. He thought about Dean holding her like he’d held him; thrusting inside of her with the same zeal he’d had with Sam.

He shook his head. Now wasn’t the time to think about that.

He took the first test in his hands, breathing hard. He closed his eyes, savoring the moment of doubt, when nothing was already written down. Maybe things could go back to normal.

Maybe he was just sick, like he had been many times. He finally dared to look down.

 

Positive.

His heart missed a beat as tears filled his eyes. He took the others, pissing on all of them, wishing for any of them to be negative. But they all came back with the same result. Positive.

He sat on the floor, head in his hands between his knees, letting the tears run free.

God, what would he tell Dean? He couldn’t hide something like this. Not for long, anyway. His brother was already starting to get suspicious, and it was only going to get worse.

He couldn’t run away, not without his dad and brother searching for him. They would never leave him alone, even if he begged. There was a slim chance that once they knew about the baby, they would leave him alone to his shame.

Still, he couldn’t even imagine getting rid of the baby. It was his baby, but most of all, it was Dean’s baby. It was the only proof that that night with his brother was real; that he’d had all his brother’s love, even for just a short time. The baby would be good because he would be Dean’s.

“Sam?”

He almost jumped when he heard Dean’s voice. He splashed his face with cool water and hid the pregnancy tests in the trash before opening the door.

“Hey Dean.” Sam greeted him weakly.

Dean looked him over, searching for any trace of pain on his face, but Sam only smiled. Whatever his brother saw on his face was enough to relax him, his shoulders dropping in relief.

“Wanna get a burger?”

“You’re not going out tonight?”

Sam mentally cursed himself as soon as he saw the hurt on his brother’s face. It’s not like Dean could blame him, he had been out every night for the past few weeks.

“No. Is that a problem?”

“No,” he said, not sure if Dean was pissed or simply hurt. “Good.”

With that, his brother went in to the bathroom, closing the door after him.

Great, just great. The one night where he would have loved for Dean to be away has to be the one night he wasn't going to be.

He sits on the bed and sighs, throwing his head back against the wall.

The wallpaper that covered every wall was yellow, but Sam was pretty sure that it used to be white. Since they had gotten there, there had been a horrific smell, like something dead was rotting somewhere in the room. Dean had thought it was funny, joking about the fact that there might be dead body under Sam’s bed, which didn’t made Sam laugh at all. The hot water wasn’t running properly, and the fridge in the small kitchen had died two days ago.

He won’t raise his child like this, he thought. He refused to make his unborn baby live the same life as him, full of dirty motel rooms and gross food.

Maybe he _should_ get an abortion. That was probably the right thing to do. Because what else was he supposed to do? Work in a gas station? That could work for the first few months

 

maybe, but what happens when the baby comes? And what about school? He wants to go to college. He _needs_ to go to college.

His heart was hurting, and he decided to close his eyes for a moment, fighting against the need to crying.

His relief was cut short when something hit him violently. “The fuck!?” he yelled, jolting up.

His brother was in front of him, anger rising in his eyes. Sam swallowed hard, he knows what Dean is capable of when he’s angry.

“Yeah, Sam, what the fuck?”

“I don’t know what-” he stopped talking, realizing what his brother had thrown in his face. His pregnancy tests.

“Dean I-”

“Who is she Sam? Some girl from your school? Jesus, I thought I could trust you, you know? You’re supposed to be the smart one!” He punches the wall, creating a big hole. “Do you realize how fucked up this is? You ruined this girl’s life. And your, goddamn life too! You’re gonna be stuck with a baby. Or worse. This baby isn’t even going to know it’s father because dad will never let you get away with this!”

The words were crashing against Sam’s skin and without him realizing it, he started crying. Hot, big tears were running down his cheeks, and he started hyperventilating. What was he going to do? Dean was right. His whole life was ruined, and his baby’s life was ruined too.

“Calm down Sammy, please calm down. It’s ok, we’ll make this right, ok?” His brother’s arms were around him, holding him against his chest. Sam knows that he should fight, should push him away, but all he can do is lean into the embrace, allowing himself the comfort and love he’s been craving. “She… I will pay for the abortion.”

“Dean I…” he wiped the tears away, leaning in to the protective embrace. “There’s no girl,” he whispered, his voice shaking.

“What do you mean?” Dean frowns, the hand on Sam’s back leaving him.

Sam’s throat was so tight it was hard to swallow. He needs to do it, needs to tell Dean the truth, even if it means his brother will hate him.

“I’m pregnant.” He dropped his eyes to the floor, refusing to see the disgust and disappointment. Yes, Dean was the one who forgot to use a condom, but Sam should have pushed him away, should have seen that his brother wasn’t in his right mind. It just had felt so good to think that Dean wanted him, loved him in that way.

They were silent for a moment, Sam still refusing to meet his brother’s gaze. “Whose is it?” Dean’s voice was so cold it made Sam shiver. “Who did that?” “I… it doesn’t matter.”

“It sure as fuck matters Sam!” Dean yelled again. “I’m gonna kill him with my bare hands, I swear to God!”

He thought about telling Dean that he was the one who did it. But he couldn’t do that to his brother. Couldn’t make him feel guilty, couldn’t force him to stay with him even though he doesn’t love him that way. It would only be worse in the end.

 

“I don’t know,” he whispered.

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I… it was a one-night thing. I don’t even know his name.”

Dean took his face in his hands, scrubbing his eyes. He should say something, anything, hell, even yelling would be good at this point.

“I need a drink.”

He got up, took the keys to the impala, and disappeared out of the room. Sam had never felt so alone in his entire life.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Sam was lying on his bed, eyes fixed on the windows in front of him. Dean had been gone for hours and Sam was getting worried he wouldn’t come back.

What if Dean decided to leave him here? What if he was so ashamed that he never, ever wanted to see him again?

Reasonably, he knows that that is probably the best thing that could happen. He would be alone, free to do as he wants with his life and his baby. Knowing that doesn’t mean that he isn’t still hurt anyway.

In a perfect world, Dean would have stayed, would have remembered what they did, and he would have been happy about it. They would have been happy, the three of them, like a real family.

Maybe John too, after a cooling off period, would have been able to see that this was the best thing that ever happened.

But it wasn’t a perfect world, and this was far from the best thing that could have happened.

No, he was just another 16-year-old kid who got knocked up and ruined his life at the same time. He couldn’t be a dad, wasn’t even sure he wanted to. He and Dean took care of each other. They were independent, but a baby came with so many responsibilities, and he wasn’t sure he could handle them.

In a dark corner of his mind, he couldn’t help but be afraid that the baby would be like him. A freak. Something wrong on the inside. He tries his hardest to be nice, and he is...really; but he can feel it. Can feel how bad he really is, how impure. It’s like the Devil’s blood itself is running in his veins.

He heard the roar of the impala before it even rolled into the parking lot, and immediately closed his eyes, relief running through him. Dean didn’t abandon him. Or not yet, anyway.

His brother entered the room silently, closing the door with an extreme care. He took his jacket and his boots off before walking toward Sam’s bed.

He sits next to Sam’s head, his hand rubbing his shoulder in a protective way.

Sam was trying not to breathe too loud, enjoying the feeling of Dean’s hand on him. Maybe he was drunk. Probably had too much drink trying to forget about his stupid little brother.

“I know you’re awake,” Dean said, his rough voice breaking the silence of night. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t… I should have stayed earlier”

Sam waited a moment, not sure if his brother was done talking. When Dean didn’t say anything else, he decided to respond.

“I thought you had left.” His voice was only a murmur, but as soon as the words left his mouth, Dean’s hand stop moving. He turned around, so he could see his brother’s face and was surprised to read hurt on it.

“Sammy, I would never leave you.”

“I…” He wanted to tell him that he knows, that he never doubts him, but he can’t, because right now, he isn’t sure of anything.

“You’re the most precious thing in my life.” Dean whispered. “I… I’m mad, because I’m supposed to keep you safe. And I failed. I can’t… I can’t help but feel guilty, you know?

 

Because you ran to a man, you… You gave yourself to him, and I didn’t know it. Hell, I didn’t even know you were gay Sammy.” He lets out a little laugh, but his eyes were shining with tears.

“I… Is that a problem?” His heart was beating so fast that he was afraid it might beat out of his chest. He was feeling so guilty to be the cause of so much pain, to hurt Dean this much.

“No. God, no. I don’t care who or what you love, as long as you’re not getting hurt, it’s fine by me. I just… I just wish you had told me.”

“You weren’t really here.” He hadn’t meant for the words to sound so accusing and he bristled a little.

His brother dropped his eyes to the bed, and Sam could see all the guilt on his face. Does Dean remember that night? Or is he just ashamed because he thinks he failed him? He sat up straight, his shoulders pressed against Dean’s.

“No. I wasn’t. But I will be now.” “What do you mean?”

“We’re gonna take care of this. Together”

“Dean I don’t… I don’t want an abortion.” Sam confessed, almost shyly. If he has to fight him over this, he will, but he’d rather not.

“What?” Dean frowns, looking at Sam once again. “No, I didn’t… Sammy, we will do whatever you want. I wasn’t… shit, I wasn’t.” He stopped and sighed, his head against the headboard. “It would be best. I know that, and I think you know that too. But I can’t… He’s yours, Sam. And I can’t… I can’t even think about losing a part of you. This baby, it’s a part of you. And just for that, it deserves to live.”

Sam felt tears forming in his eyes, Dean words resonating in his head. It wasn’t just the fact that Dean accepted his pregnancy, or the fact that he was going to stay with him through it. It was the fact that his brother accepted this baby because it was Sam’s, because somehow, Dean thinks that Sam is good.

“What,” he sniffs, wiping the tears away before clearing his throat. “What are we gonna do?”

“Well, we could start with a good night of sleep. Then we’ll see.” Dean gave him a smile, his eyes full of emotions and for a moment, Sam thought he was gonna kiss him. He leaned in a little, but Dean only ruffled his hair before moving to his bed. They were facing each other, so close to edge of their beds that they could probably touch if they extended their arms.

“It’s gonna be ok, Sammy. I’ve got you.” Dean paused a moment, “...both of you.”

Sam could only nod, overwhelmed by the emotions of the day. Maybe it wasn’t the perfect way to have a baby, but with Dean protecting them? Nothing could go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your kind words, I'm having a lot of fun writing this fic and I'm glad you like it  
> Comments are love !


	4. Chapter 4

Sam woke up to the smell of bacon and eggs.

“Hello there, sleeping beauty,” Dean said, a big smile on his face.

Sam’s smile was so big, it almost hurt. He couldn’t remember the last time Dean cooked for him, or even the last time he saw his brother smiling this much. For the past two years, Dean had been smiling less and less, and every time he tried to talk to him about it, he would get pushed away.

“Hey,” he said back, moving closer to Dean. “It smells good.” “I bet it does.”

Sam was about to reply when his stomach started to hurt. God, he almost forgot about this. He took a deep breath, wrapping his hands around his abdomen. When he opened his eyes again, Dean was looking at him with worried eyes.

“It’s… you know.” Sam waves vaguely at his stomach.

Dean frowns for a moment before it hits him. Then he drops the spatula, and starts laughing, much to Sam’s surprise.

“This is why you spent so much time in the bathroom?” Sam nodded, still not understanding what was so funny. “Dude, I thought you were jerking off.”

“What?” Sam eyes grew bigger, before bursting into laughter. “Yeah, I was actually worried for your dick’s sake you know.”

They laughed harder, until there were tears running down both their faces. It was so good to laugh together again, Sam felt like a weight lifted from his shoulders.

They sat at the table after Dean served them both. Sam couldn’t help but let out a moan when the food hit his taste buds. Between the sickness and the guilt, eating had been the last thing on his mind. Why eat when you can’t keep anything down? Well, that was before he knew he was pregnant, of course.

“How long have you been pregnant?” Dean asked, breaking the comfortable silence. Sam fidgeted a little, his mind still not wrapped around the idea.

“Five weeks, I think.”

“Five,” Dean stopped mid-sentence, like Sam had just dropped a bomb in the room. “And you only just figured it now?”

“Well yeah, it’s not… you don’t get sick immediately. And then… I was sick before, so I really didn’t pay attention.”

“And when you start paying attention you immediately thought about being pregnant?”

“I didn’t. It was Brandon. He joked about it and then I realized that…” He blushed, realizing what he was going to say. Dean wasn’t stupid, he knows how babies are made, but knowing it and talking about it are two different things. “There might be a chance.”

“Is… is Brandon the father?”

“Oh my God Dean no!” Sam made a disgusting sound. Brandon was his friend, sure, but he was disgusting as hell, always had food between his teeth and snot running out of his nose.

 

“I’m sorry but it’s the first time that I’ve heard you talk about this dude.” “What? No, it’s not. He’s my… well I guess he’s my best friend”

Dean nodded, not convinced, before starting to eat again. He stopped, looking at Sam with big eyes again.

“What?” Sam sighs. God, is Dean going to be this surprised about everything? “Did you take a test, for like diseases? STI’s and shit?”

“I… no. It’s… it’s ok.” Sam blushed, biting his bottom lip. He knows Dean is clean, he’s tested every few months and he always uses protection.

“You don’t know that Sam. How could you know that?” “I asked him Dean. I’m not that stupid!”

“But you said you didn’t know who he was.”

“Yeah, but I asked him after it happened.” A life full of lies had made it easy for him to come up with quick excuses.

“I don’t understand Sam. You’re… you’re smart. So fucking smart. But you make such dumb mistakes! Like having sex with a stranger. Not taking any pills or doing any tests after. Jesus, if you had told me, I would have helped you!”

Sam’s blood was boiling. How could Dean judge him like that? He was the one who forgot to put a condom on. And yeah, maybe Sam should have thought about the possibility of having a baby, but he was to worried about everything else.

“Fuck you Dean!” He yelled, before going to the bathroom, slamming the door behind himself.

He sat on the floor, back against the bath. He was angry at Dean, but he was even more angry at himself. Dean was right, he should have thought about all of it from the beginning. It had been dumb, so fucking dumb. If he had used his big brain, maybe they wouldn’t be in this mess. What he was supposed to say? “Hey Dean, we had sex last night, but you don’t remember. Can you pay for my pill?” Yeah, not the best thing to do.

“Sam?” He heard Dean ask behind the door, his voice so small that it made Sam’s heart ache. God, of all the boys on earth, he had to fall for his own brother. “Sammy, please, I’m sorry. I… I don’t… it’s not your fault. I promise. And it’s not… I’m just worried. Because you’re my little brother and I only want what’s best for you. So, yeah, sorry I guess.”

Sam got up from the floor and unlocked the door, facing his brother. Sam gave him a weak smile, but before he could register anything, he was pulled into Dean’s arms, and held tight against his chest.

“You’re not dumb, Sam. You’re a fucking genius. Maybe… maybe it happened for a reason you know? I think good things could come out of it”

Sam let out a breath, his head nestled on Dean’s chest. He had been craving this, craving Dean’s touch, his words.

“Thank you,” he whispered, holding onto Dean for dear life. “Alright, come on. You’re gonna be late to school.”

 

They dress quickly and eat the now cold breakfast before getting in the car. Sam’s stomach seemed better, and he was happy to realize that he hadn’t puked this morning. Maybe the stress had been part of his sickness.

He couldn’t even tell how relieved he was to have Dean by his side. There was still a lot to deal with, but his list of worries was going down a little bit.

“Everything will be ok Dean, right?” “Of course, Sammy.”

Dean gave him the most genuine smile, the one that always makes him feel funny, and that was enough to reassure him.


	5. Chapter 5

“Mr. Winchester.”

Sam jumped when he heard his teacher’s voice. He quickly excused himself, his face burning from embarrassment. It wasn’t his fault, really, he was just so damn tired, all the time.

“Are you sick?” Brandon asked him

“No, I just… I didn’t sleep very well last night. That’s all.”

Brandon didn’t seem convinced, but he didn’t push, which Sam was grateful for.

He tried to concentrate the rest of the class, or at least not let the teacher see him sleeping again. He loves math, he really does, but lately, he’s had a lot of troubles concentrating. All he wants to do is stay in bed, under the warm covers, with Dean. Well, the last one wasn’t possible, but that’s what he wanted.

It had been a week since he told Dean about his pregnancy and things were back to normal. They hadn’t talked any more about the baby or anything, which Sam was grateful for. They would have time to think about it later, right now, he just wanted to focus on school. As much as his body would allow him to.

He almost ran out of school as soon as the bell rang, happy to see the impala already in the parking lot, Dean leaning against it.

“Heya Sammy,” he said, getting in the car. “How was your day?” “Fine. I took my English test and I think I did great.”

“Of course, you did.” Dean squeezed his leg, eyes glued to the road. “How was yours?”

“Great, we’ve got an old car today, man you should see it. A fucking masterpiece. But the owner doesn’t know shit about it. Like it’s-” Dean frowns, smelling the air. “What smells funny?”

“I don’t smell anything.” Sam replies, “So the owner doesn’t know anything about his car?” Dean didn’t look completely convinced, but he nodded anyway.

“Yeah, he-” he stopped again, moving his head closer to Sam. “Dude are you farting in my car?”

Sam felt the blush rising in his face before Dean burst out laughing. “It’s not funny,” he mumbled, arms crossed against his chest.

“I could answer you, but it smells way to bad, I’m kinda afraid I may die if I keep breathing.” “Stop laughing!”

Dean was about to say something else, but he saw how hurt Sam was. And yeah, sure, he shouldn’t be hurt because that was nothing. It wasn’t the first time he farted with his brother next to him, hell, just three months ago, they had a competition, not that Sam was proud of it.

“It’s nothing Sam.” Dean said, still smiling “It’s… the baby.” His voice dropped a little at the last word.

“What?”

“It’s the baby. You know, your body with like, the hormones and all of that.”

 

“Is… I’m tired all the time; do you think that comes from that too?” “Yeah, of course it does. You really didn’t make the connection?”

Now that he actually thinks about it, it was logical. But it didn’t really occur to him before. He thought he was tired because of the weird dreams he was having, nothing out of the ordinary.

“No, I… how do you make that connection anyway? Since when are you so aware of what happens during pregnancy?”

“I did research,” Dean whispered, blush spreading on his cheek. “You did?” He couldn’t stop the surprise in his voice.

“Don’t look at me like that, of course I did! The real question is why didn’t you? You love that kind of stuff!”

Sam moved awkwardly on his seat. He should have done some research, he knows that, but the more he learned about it, the more it scared him.

“I… I didn’t have time.”

With that, the conversation was closed. They started talking about Dean’s day again before stopping at the grocery on the way home. Dean’s salary wasn’t that high, but it was enough to provide for both of them and even allow them to treat themselves sometimes. Therefore, they came home with ribs, bacon, and, a ton of pasta and some crackers.

“Are you starting a special diet?” Sam joked, storing the groceries “Everybody love pasta.”

“Yeah maybe, but not every day.” “Bitch.”

“Jerk.”

Dean all but collapsed on the coach, zapping the channels, while Sam started his homework, or tried to anyway. He couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that Dean did research for him. It was normal, he guessed, but still. It was actually really nice and sweet of Dean. He could not care, let Sam deal with it, but, instead he seemed to be really interested.

He almost falls of his chair when the phone rings, which earns him a laugh from Dean. “Yeah, so funny.” He rolled his eyes

Dean gave him the finger before answering the phone. “Hey Dad.”

Sam couldn’t hear his father’s voice, only Dean agreeing like always. His mind focused instantly on their dad. Their dad, who went hunting seven weeks ago already, and who was more than likely to come back soon. What will they tell him? John will know immediately that something’s wrong. He always knows. Plus, this? It was fucking huge, and Sam won’t be able to hide it from his father. What if when he founds out, he asks him to get rid of it? Dean said he would help him, but he never disobeyed an order from their dad..

“Are you ok?” Dean asked, his hand on his shoulder “Yeah I just… what did Dad say?”

“He found another hunt. May stay here for another couple of weeks, or more.”

 

Sam sighs, letting himself fall on the couch. “That’s great,” he whispered, closing his eyes.

“Yep, think we should get you an appointment.” Dean said, lifting Sam legs before dropping them on his lap.

“For what?”

Dean looked at him for a moment, like the answer was gonna come to Sam itself. “For the baby Sam.”

“Oh,” he said, a little ashamed. The baby, yeah, of course. God, why was he so stupid sometime?

“Sammy, you… Are you ok with the baby thing?”

“Yes. I mean, it’s a little too late you know?” Sam laughs nervously “It’s not. If you don’t want this- “

“I do.” Sam said immediately. “I just… it’s… I don’t know.” He sighs again, lying down completely now. “I think I don’t really realize. It’s like I’m in a dream and I’m gonna wake up.”

“A dream, not a nightmare, right?”

“Yeah. I… I’m not happy about it, but I’m not not-happy either you know?”

Dean gave him a sad smile before moving his hand to Sam’s stomach. Sam frowns, wondering what he’s doing. Dean lifts his shirt, exposing his flat stomach. He runs a finger across it. Sam is holding his breath’ his whole body reacting to Dean’s touch.

“I think it’s amazing,” Dean whispered, caressing Sam’s stomach. “That inside of you, right here, there’s an actual human being.” He moved his finger over his belly button “Soon, it will start showing, and as weird as this sounds, I can’t… God, I can’t wait. Because Sammy I… I already love him.”

Sam felt tears in his eyes, but he didn’t try to hide them, because Dean had some too. His stomach did a flip and he only now realizes that there is a human being inside of him. That Dean’s baby was there, in his body, growing.


	6. Chapter 6

“Sam, can you, I don’t know, speed the hell up?” Dean sighed, shifting from one foot to the other

“It’s not my fault ok? I couldn’t leave school early” he said, putting his pants on. “Maybe if you didn’t spend fifteen minutes in the shower, we wouldn’t be late.”

“Yeah, Dean, I’m gonna see the doctor with sweat everywhere” he rolled his eyes, throwing his bag on his back.

God, Dean was such a pain in the ass sometimes. It’s not like they were late. The appointment was in fifteen minutes, and the hospital was only twenty minutes away from the motel room, but with Dean driving, it was only gonna be ten minutes tops.

Dean was anxious. One of the rules was to never go to the hospital unless you were dying, no matter what. But here they are, making appointment weeks ahead, waiting with excitement for the day to come. Because they are excited, both of them, even if they don’t mention it. It was the first ultrasound, the first time seeing the baby, and even though Sam knows there isn’t a lot to see, he can’t help but feel excited.

He was feeling much better now. The morning sickness was slowly going away and he was pretty sure that was all thanks to Dean’s research.

They got in the car, and like Sam had predicted, they were at the hospital five minutes before the appointment. They took a seat in the waiting room with several other couples. Some of the wives bumps were already showing and Sam saw Dean’s eyes dropping to his belly, probably imagining how his brother would look soon. If the little smile on his face said anything, it was that that Dean loved that picture. Sam was about to mock him for being a sap when he saw that one of the men was looking at him with nothing but disgust on his face.

Dean caught it at the same time, his body going into full protective mode, his arm circling Sam’s back.

“Is there a problem buddy?” His voice was rough, and Sam couldn’t help but shiver.

The man sputtered something before his wife snapped at him and offered an apologetic look to Sam.

Is this how it’s gonna be? Once his belly starts showing, everyone would be able to tell he’s pregnant. According to Dean, it should start showing at around 12 weeks. That means that in less than 4 weeks, a lot of people will look at him with the same disgust as that man.

He couldn’t even imagine what school was gonna be like. He was already being bullied and he was pretty sure that a pregnancy wasn’t going to help him in any way. It wasn’t the pregnancy itself, plenty of girls got pregnant every year, and even if it wasn’t the best way to be popular, they weren’t getting as much hate as the boys. Sam’s never seen any pregnant men, but he remembers Dean having one in his school. The guy ended up in the hospital because the bullying, both from students and teachers.

He’s pulled out of his thoughts when he feels Dean squeezing his side gently and offering a fond smile. He leans into the embrace, savoring the contact. God, how he misses his brother’s touch.

“Mr. Winchester?” The doctor asked, opening the door.

They got up instantly and start walking to the room, Dean’s arm still around Sam.

 

Doctor Raffi was an old man, with white hair and glasses that made his eyes look funny. He had hair coming out of his ears and his nose, and Sam could swear he just saw him putting his finger up it. Judging by the look Dean just gave him, he saw that too.

“So, who’s the pregnant one?” He asked, looking over his glasses “It’s me” Sam said, playing nervously with his hands.

“Alright. So, this is how the appointment will go on. First, I’m going to ask you a few questions, then we will do a blood test, check your hormones levels, and then a urine test. Finally, we’ll do the ultrasound. Do you have any questions?”

“No.” He gave the doctor a little smile, but he was so stressed that it probably looked more like a grimace.

“Is the father staying through all the appointment? Some of them rather be here only for the ultrasound.”

Sam turned toward Dean, not sure of what to say. Should he clarify that Dean wasn’t the father? Or that he was the father, but not aware of it? He wasn’t sure if he could handle the doctor’s look when he told him that no, his baby doesn’t have a father because Sam had sex with his own brother but couldn’t bring himself to tell him.

“I’m staying,” Dean said after seeing his brother distressed. “Gonna be sure you take care of my boy.”

He rested his hand on Sam’s knee before winking, and Sam could feel himself blushing furiously.

 

The first part of the appointment was much more boring than Sam thought it would be. He knows that there isn’t really anything exciting happening this soon, but still.

He was glad that Dean had stayed with him, even if it means having to see his brother flirting with the nurse. He could understand, she was beautiful, all tiny and charming, laughing at each one of his stupid jokes. It didn’t help decrease the pain in his stomach, though.

“You ok there?” Dean asks when Sam sits up on the exam table. “Yeah.”

Dean didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t push things further. When the nurse came back and give him her number, Sam was surprised to see Dean throwing it in the trash as soon as she left. He was about to ask why but decided that maybe it was best not to say anything. Maybe it was selfish, but he couldn’t help to smile at the idea that maybe, just maybe, Dean did that for him.

“Can you raise your shirt for me?” Dr. Raffi asked, sitting next to him. Sam did, his hands shaking from excitement.

“This is gonna be cold.”

He tried not to shiver when the Doc put the freezing gel on his stomach, focusing instead on the screen in front of the man.

For a long time, Sam couldn’t see anything, and he couldn’t help but be worried. What if there was no baby? Dean told him that a false positive wasn’t really a thing, but with Sam’s luck, it could totally happen. Or what if he had some sort of phantom pregnancy?

 

“Ok, so, we should see it…” The doctor moved a little, before pointing to something on the screen “here.”

Dean moved closer to the table, looking intensely at the screen. Then they saw it. The doctor pointed out the head and the body, even though it looked more like a peanut than an actual baby. He then put the sound on, allowing them to hear the heartbeat.

So many emotion rushed through Sam at that moment, the joy and excitement to see his baby for the first time, the fear that yeah, this little thing was actually inside of him, growing and expanding.

He jumped when he felt Dean taking his hand, and when he looked at him, he was surprised to find tears in his brother’s eyes, even if he did brush them away quickly.

The doctor kept talking to them, but Sam wasn’t really listening, to caught on the fact that Dean wasn’t letting go of his hand. They looked like a real couple, like Sam pictured them so many times.

The doctor gave them the picture before setting up another appointment. The chances that they would still in town for the second appointment were really low, but neither of them said anything, wanting to make the moment of normality last for as long as they could.

The drive from the hospital was silent, both of them recovering from what happened. “I’m sorry,” Dean said after parking the car.

“Hmm?”

“I… I said I was the… your… partner. I just, it was easier and… yeah, I should have asked you first.”

“I… I don’t mind” Sam said, looking at Dean “I’m glad you did it.”

They share a long look, Dean’s green eyes locking with Sam’s hazel ones, and only now does Sam realize how close they are, how their bodies moved naturally toward each other. If he just moved his face a little, just a little, Dean’s lips could be on his. Dean eyes keep moving from his eyes to his lips, and Sam wonders if it’s only his imagination, but he can see lust and love in those eyes, he’s sure of it.

His heart his beating so hard that he’s sure Dean can hear it too, but it doesn’t stop him from moving closer to Dean, only a few inches between them. He can feel Dean hot breath against his skin, memories from their night together flashing through his mind. He knows what those lips taste like, how good they feel pressed against his, and he’s dying to kiss his brother again. If he leaned in just a little more -

The moment dies instantly when Dean’s phone start ringing, making them both jump in surprise.

“Dad?” Dean said, shifting uncomfortably on his seat, refusing to look at his brother. Sam sighs before getting out of the car and walking to the room. Even when he’s not here, their father still finds a way to bother them.

He can’t help but replay what just happened again and again, wondering if it was all in his head.

They won’t talk about this. Dean will pretend that nothing happened, and Sam will do the same. He can’t help but wonder, though. Is Dean feeling the same things that he does? Maybe their night together wasn’t a drunken mistake, maybe Dean really wanted it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are highly appreciated


	7. Chapter 7

“Think I could have a chance with Lillie?” Brandon asked, licking his lips in the most disgusting way Sam had ever seen.

“Yeah, if she was blind maybe.”

“You’re an ass,” Brandon said, pushing Sam away as they walked away from school. Dean had been working late for the last few days, which meant that he wasn’t able to pick Sam up. He didn’t mind though, the pregnancy symptoms were almost completely gone.

“I’m sorry, did I hurt your feelings?” Sam mocks, pretending to make a sorry face, but Brandon was already bursting into laughter, quickly followed by Sam.

“Well, if it isn’t our favorite freak couple?”

They both stopped immediately, recognizing Jason’s voice. He was standing right behind them, two of his friends with him. Jason wasn’t necessarily tall, but he was still taller than Sam and Brandon, and even if his friends were smaller, they were imposing. It shouldn’t be a problem for Sam, he had been trained his whole life to fight, and even with his pregnancy, he still practiced (even if Dean was very careful with him). It shouldn’t be a problem, but it was. Because Jason was exceptionally violent. He had even broken Brandon’s arms before Sam got to the school. They could tell by the way he was standing, shifting from one foot to the other, that this was exciting for Jason. Sam could take the three of them without too much trouble, but he couldn’t risk taking a knock in his belly.

“We’re just going home,” he says, even if he knows it won’t change a thing for the guy

“Yeah, so tell me Winchester, are you going home to your boyfriend?” Jason asks, smiling wildly.

Sam frowns instantly.

“So, no boyfriend hmm? Did you get fucked in a dark alley?” He laughs, looking at his friends for support.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Sam starts to walk again, making a sign for Brandon to follow, only to be stopped by Jason, who puts himself in front of them. This isn’t good.

“Yeah you do. See, my mom works at the clinic, and when she picked me up yesterday, she recognized you.”

Sam swallows hard, praying that Jason’s mom didn’t say anything. He still had time before having to say anything, he’s bump wasn’t even showing yet. But one look at Jason’s face tells him that Jason knows. Which means that the whole school knows too.

“What is he talking about?” Brandon whispered.

“Oh, Sam didn’t tell you?” Jason moved closer to Sam, his right hand coming to touch Sam’s belly “He got knock up like a little slut.”

“Don’t fucking touch me.” He pushes the hand away, rougher than he intends to.

Jason tries to throw a punch at him, but Sam is quick, and he moves away. Jason’s friends are on him now, and he sees Brandon running away, leaving him alone. Sam fights as much as he can, kicking and pushing while protecting his belly. They hit him in the face, several times, but he’s still winning, until Jason knocks him to the ground.

 

“Fucking faggot!” He sees Jason getting ready to kick him, and he covers himself, closing his eyes.

But nothing comes. No kick in the head, no pain, nothing. He opens his eyes only to find Jason, his hands covering his nose, from where blood was running.

“Sammy, you’re alright kiddo?”

Dean was kneeling in front of him, trying to check for any injuries. Sam nodded, his head still dizzy.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, getting up.

He almost falls, but Dean is there to catch him, one of his arm sliding around his back. “Easy cowboy. Let’s get you home.”

Only now does he see the impala. He lets his brother guide him to the car. Jason and his friends were already running away, and from what Sam could see, they weren’t in a good state. He couldn’t hold back a smile, knowing that he and Dean were the reason for those bruises.

“Don’t fall asleep,” Dean told him, and Sam realized they were already moving.

His mind was still confused but it was slowly getting better. How did Dean find him? How did his brother know he was in trouble?

“Your friend called the garage. Told me what was happening.” “Brandon?”

“Yeah. Good kid.” Dean parked the car before opening the door for him.

They walked to the room, Dean holding him as best as he could. He didn’t really need any help, but it was good to be this close to Dean, and his brother wouldn’t let him go anyway.

“Son of a bitch,” Dean groans, cleaning Sam’s face. It was probably just superficial bruises, but it was enough to make Dean angry. He put some ice against his eyes, ignoring Sam grimace. “If you’re lucky, it won’t turn into a black eye.”

“When have I ever been lucky?”

Dean couldn’t suppress a laugh as he brushed some hair away from Sam’s face. He could feel blood in his mouth, but apart from the pain on his eyes, he felt good.

“Did they kick your belly?” Dean asked, pushing Sam back against the headboard “No, I protected it.”

“Good job,” Dean sighed in relief before getting up and giving a glass of water for Sam.

He took it and drank half before putting it next to him. He wanted to sleep so bad, but he knew that he needed to stay awake. Dean sits down in front of him, looking at him like he’s some poor little puppy.

He couldn’t believe that by tomorrow, everyone at school will know about his pregnancy. Jason and his friends will probably be back bullying him, and even if they didn’t, he would be the target of others. Brandon will leave him too, and he won’t blame him.

“You ok?” Dean asked.

“Yeah, ‘f course.” He tried to look convincing but failed royally.

 

“I’d offer you a beer but my nephew’s health comes first.” Dean smiled, winking at Sam before getting up.

He went to the kitchen and came back with two forks and a pie. Sam laughed. “Don’t get your hopes up too high, this is a one-time thing.”

Sam smile faded with Dean’s sentence. It was innocent, of course, but he couldn’t help but think about their night together, how he had hoped that Dean would still be there the next morning, would still love him.

“Why do you look like I just ate your Halloween candies?”

“I…” He sits silently for a moment. He should just tell Dean what happened between them. He should tell him that he’s the father of his baby. But what if Dean leaves?

“Come on, tell me.”

“Do you remember when… when you come back home drunk a while back?” Dean closes himself off instantly, his face unreadable. So, he remembers. “You do,” Sam said, looking at the guilt taking over Dean’s face.

“I… Yeah. Fuck, I’m so sorry Sam. I swear I…”

“You what Dean? Though that if we didn’t talk about it, it would just go away? Well, guess what, it can’t go away!” He was yelling, ignoring the pain in his head. Dean had been so sweet with him, even if he thought the baby wasn’t his. But all this time, he knew. And he didn’t say a thing.

“You don’t think I know that? I keep thinking about it Sam. About how I… I molested you.” He lowers his voice, his eyes full of tears “I was supposed to keep you safe and I molested you.”

“No, you… I… I wanted it. You think I wouldn’t have say anything if I didn’t? You think I would have kept it?” He said, pointing to his stomach.

“What do you mean?” Dean frowns.

“I wouldn’t have kept the baby if you had molested me.”

Dean’s face instantly lost it’s color, becoming so pale that Sam was afraid he was gonna pass out.

“Sam, I… I didn’t… it’s not mine.”

The words hurt him so much that he felt like someone had just punched him in the stomach. How could Dean imply that he doesn’t even know who the father of his child is?

“Fuck you Dean! You’re the one sleeping around all the time, not me!”

“That’s not what I meant.” Dean tried to keep his voice calm “I… I didn’t… What I did wasn’t enough to get you pregnant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think of it !


	8. Chapter 8

“What?” Sam asks – more like yells. He couldn’t tell which one of them was the most confused.

“I didn’t rape you.”

“I never said that you did.” He sighs, running his hand through his hair. They weren’t getting anywhere like this. “What do you remember exactly?”

“I…” Dean swallows hard, eyes closed “I came home, drunk, and you… you were sleeping, almost naked… I’m not trying to defend myself or to blame you, I swear. I just… God, you were so beautiful. Glorious. I… I just thought… I came into your bed, just to hug you. And then I start kissing your neck, your face and I… I rubbed myself against you.”

Sam never saw Dean face this red, even while talking about sex. But this was different, and he knows that. His face was probably just as red if not more.

“And then?”

“Then I fell asleep.”

“Is this… is this why you were so nice with the baby? Because you were feeling guilty?” He bites at his bottom lip, waiting for answer he’s not sure he wants to hear.

“No, absolutely not Sam. I swear it’s not. I felt guilty as hell, but it has nothing to do with how I acted.”

Dean started to move his hand to take Sam’s hand, but he changed his mind and put it in his own lap instead.

“Dean, it’s not… that’s not what happened. Not exactly.” He crossed his arms instinctively around his belly. “We… you came into my bed, you kissed… you kissed me. And I woke up.” Dean opened his mouth like he was ready to argue but closed it immediately. “We… you started by rubbing, yeah, but we didn’t stop there. We had… we had sex.” He looked down, feeling his cheek burning.

“No. No. I would have remembered.” Dean got up, pacing the room like he was completely crazy. “I can’t, God, I didn’t do that to you. I can’t have done that to you.”

“We did it. Together.” Sam got up, walking toward him. Dean stopped moving but refused to meet his eyes. “I… I’m sorry, if you didn’t want it. I can understand that. I’m not asking you to do anything. I just… thought you deserved to know.”

Dean nodded before finally sitting on the chair again, his head in his hands. Sam was on the edge of the bed, the headache from earlier slowly coming back.

He understands now why Dean keep going out. He was probably sick with guilt and trying to hide it as best as he could. Sam did the exact same thing.

All this time, he thought he was the freaky one, having incestuous thoughts about his own brother. After their night together, it just got worse and he started feeling he had abused Dean.

“You’ve known all this time.” Dean said, still not looking at him “It’s been three months. You… you known that you were pregnant for what, almost two months? And you’re only telling me this now?”

 

Sam felt anger rising inside of him. No, he wasn’t the only one to blame. They both made a mistake, they should have talked, but none of this is his fault entirely.

“What I was supposed to say? Hey, do you remember when you were drunk, and we had sex? Well, guess what, you’re gonna be a dad!” He stopped yelling as soon as Dean eyes met his. He felt his heart skip a beat. “You’re gonna be a dad,” he whispered.

“I am,” Dean repeated, his voice broken. “Shit Sammy!”

He took Sam in his arms, holding him tight against his chest. It was like having a weight pulled off his shoulders; he felt so free, so light. It been a long time since he’d felt this good.

Sam buried his face in Dean’s shoulder, wishing he could stay there forever. They still had a lot to talk about, starting with their relationship. Does Dean want to be with him like he wants to be with him?

“Alright,” Dean said, clearing his throat before pulling himself away “so…” “Yeah?” Sam laughed awkwardly.

“We’re good?”

“Yeah, I mean, I guess we are.”

“Good.” He said, looking nervously around before clasping his hands. “Pie. Let’s eat some pie.” Dean took the long-forgotten pie off the bed. “We need to get some food in you. You deserve it after everything that happened.”

Only now does Sam remember about the fight from earlier. He collapses on the bed, letting out a long sigh. Tomorrow, he will need to face everyone, and he won’t even have Brandon by his side.

“You don’t have to go, you know.”

“What?” Sam asked, pulling himself into a sitting position and stuffing a piece of pie in his mouth. God, he didn’t even realize he was starving.

“School. You don’t need to go back. We’ve been here for three months already, Dad will be back soon I think.”

“‘M not a coward.”

“No, you’re not.” Dean gave him a fond smile, which made Sam blush like a teenage girl. “The fucker probably shit is pants. He won’t touch you for a few days and then we’ll be gone.”

“What if Dad doesn’t come back soon?” “He will.”

Sam didn’t push things further. His brother always had so much hope and devotion when he came to their dad, no matter what he did.

“I hope so...” He whispered, letting his head hit his pillow. His eyes were burning from exhaustion and he could already feel himself falling asleep. They needed to talk, like, a lot, but not now, not tonight. Dean will stay, no matter what, and that’s the most important thing.

“Night Sammy.” “Night Dean.”

 

Before falling asleep, he felt Dean cover him with a blanket. Maybe it was only his imagination, but he thought he felt a hot breath against his skin. The kiss he was expecting never came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are motivation !


	9. Chapter 9

As predicted, no one came at him the next day. They were probably too scared by Jason’s face. At least he kept his head down all day, refusing to meet anyone eyes. It was a small victory but Sam relished it. Brandon didn’t come near him either. He didn’t sit next to him during class, didn’t wait for him once was school was over, and certainly didn’t eat with him at lunch.

Sam couldn’t help but feel sad. With their kind of life, people are only around for a short period of time. You get to enjoy their company for a little while before they become just a ghost from your past. It used to upset him. Eventually though he got used to it like everything else, but this was different. Brandon _chose_ not to be his friend anymore. He _chose_ to act like their friendship never existed. That hurt.

Sam can’t even blame him. They were supposed to be friends, but friends don’t keep secrets from each other. Moreover, they don’t keep a big secret, like a pregnancy.

He sighed, letting his bag fall to the floor. As much as losing his friend sucks, he has others things to deal with, like the fact that his brother is his baby’s father. God, what even is his life?

That was another thing too. Dean. They should talk, they needed to talk, but he couldn’t bring himself to start the conversation. He loves Dean with all he’s got. He’s been lusting after him since he was 12, and in love with him since he was 13. He’s not only his brother but his best friend as well. That’s why he can’t lose him.

He knows now that Dean wants him, but that doesn’t mean he’s in love with him. Even if he is, it still doesn’t mean that he wants to be in a relationship. Logically, Sam knows it’s not a good idea. Even if you put the incest problem aside, it’s still really risky. It’s not only about them anymore, it’s about their baby’s future. If everything goes well, they will be a happy family, like Sam had dreamt of so many times. If things go badly, that perfect family image could burst in pieces, and all three of them will suffer the consequences.

He sits at his desk with his homework in front of him. Judging by the look his teachers gave him today, they already all know about the pregnancy. They’re probably debating whether they should call his dad before or after talking to him. He has never been so glad to have put Dean’s number instead of his dad’s. Not like Dad would have picked up anyway.

“It’s fucking freezing out there.” Dean groans, closing the motel door. “Did you walk here?” “Well...yeah...” He rolls his eyes, barely looking at his brother.

“Someone’s in a good mood,” he muttered, pulling his pants off.

“How was I supposed to get home? I don’t have a car and the bus doesn’t come around here.” “Alright, that was stupid. Don’t need to be a bitch about it.”

“I’m not-“ he stopped immediately when he saw his brother standing next to the bed, shirtless. He’d seen Dean shirtless more times than he can count. Living in motel rooms did not allow for much privacy. Usually, he would try not to stare too long, or if he did, not to get caught.

He knows that he shouldn’t do it, but with Dean like that? It’s impossible not to look.

He gets yanked out of his thoughts when Dean’s dirty shirt comes right at his face, making him curse.

“Why the fuck did you do that?” he yelled, tossing the shirt away.

 

“You just blanked out while looking at me. I was concerned.”

“Oh, and your solution is to throw a dirty thing in my face? Real mature Dean.” He rolled his eyes again. The desire he was feeling earlier completely gone.

Dean smirked before walking toward Sam, a new shirt on. He looked at Sam’s homework over his shoulder and Sam’s pretty sure he said something but he didn’t hear him, too caught in the warm wave coming from Dean’s body. He can smell his brother’s cologne, mixed with the cold from outside and car oil. There’s something else too, something that’s just Dean, and Sam isn’t sure if it’s his smell or his presence, but it’s the most addicting thing.

“W-what?” Judging by the look Dean’s giving him, he’s supposed to be a part of the conversation but he has no idea what it’s about. All he can see are Dean’s beautiful and luscious lips moving, causing his dick to react immediately.

“Are you ok?” Dean frowns, his hand moving to Sam’s forehead. It’s an innocent gesture but it sends a wave of warmth through him, and he can’t suppress a tiny moan, much to his horror.

Dean’s hand immediately freezes, his eyes locked on Sam before dropping down to his mouth. It’s all Sam needs to make the first move.

He’s moving out of his chair, crowding right up against Dean. He doesn’t have to wonder if Dean can feel it too, this attraction between them, the sheer need to be together. One look at Dean’s face and he knows. How was he never able to see it before?

“I… we shouldn’t...” Dean whispers, moving away, putting too much distance between them. “I want too.” He’s not going to let Dean walk away this time “I want you to kiss me, Dean.

I’ve wanted this for so long, you have no idea.”

There’s a moment of silence and he thinks that it will end here, that whatever feelings they have will stay bottled inside forever.

“How long?” Dean asked eyes closed. “How long do you…? How long?”

“Years,” he replied immediately. If he was being honest, he would have said all his life because he can’t remember a time where all his love wasn’t dedicated to Dean.

“God…” Dean opens his eyes again and gives him a look that Sam knows. It’s the one that he gives to the pretty waitress at the gas station, the one that makes them all turn red, but it’s not quite the same because this one’s got love in it, and fear too. “Ask me to stop, and I will.”

“Please.” He wants to push forward and kiss Dean himself but he can’t. It has to be Dean who makes the leap.

Dean moves closer to him, until their standing toe to toe, before cupping his face in his hands; fingers caressing his lips. Sam opens his mouth a little, just enough for Dean to nip at his top lip before moving away. He does the same with his bottom lip and Sam is so close to jumping on him. He opens his mouth a little more and Dean does mirrors him before finally kissing him; sliding his tongue into his mouth possessively.

It’s wet and messy and perfect at the same time. Sam sighs in relief after having to wait for this for so long.

Dean pulls back for a moment, hands still cupping Sam’s face, brushing their noses against each other.

“Me too,” he breathes. “I’ve been wanting this for so long. I’m so tired of waiting.”

 

Sam laughs, his forehead crashing against Dean’s. He’s this close to bursting into tears but he won’t risk scaring Dean. His brother is laughing now too, and soon Sam is dropping kisses all over his face while he wraps his arms around his neck.

Neither of them hears the sound of John’s truck in the parking lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are love ;)


	10. Chapter 10

They’re still kissing, hungrier now, it’s teeth hitting teeth and Dean’s hands come down his ass, squeezing him and pulling him closer. Before Sam even notices anything, he’s on the floor, with Dean on top of him.

The bed is just behind them and he can’t understand why Dean would push him to the floor instead of the mattress. He doesn’t complain, though, instead he encircles Dean’s waist with his legs, grinding their hard-ons together.

But Dean isn’t kissing him anymore. Instead, he’s moving Sam’s arms above his head, like he does when they’re training.

“What-”

“Dean, be gentle with your brother.” Their father’s rough voice resonates in Sam’s head as his heart skips a beat.

“Dad?” Dean asked, jumping up off of Sam. He extends his hand, offering it to Sam who still feels dizzy. “I didn’t think you’d be here so soon.”

“Yeah, well, the hunt was easier than I expected” John drops into a kitchen chair, a beer already in his hands. “What happened to your eye Sammy?”

Sam has managed to sit on the bed, trying to hide his erection. He knows he shouldn’t still be so excited, but having been so close to Dean is something that he can’t erase so easily.

“Nothing.” His reply earns him a sigh from John. He felt instantly guilty. John wasn’t the best father, but he was trying his best, most of the time anyway. “Sorry I just… I was in a fight but I’m ok.”

“Should see the other guy’s face” Dean replies with a proud smile, which made both of the other Winchesters smile. “So, how was the hunt?”

Their dad started in on his story. He told them about how he fought a bunch of werewolves in Colorado, just before taking care of a nest of vampires, all by himself of course. Dean eyes were shining with excitement and admiration, asking for more details. How many were there? How did he find them? Did he get hurt?

Sam walked toward his homework again, not enjoying this conversation as much as Dean was. He couldn’t understand how Dean could be so excited about this. Sure, they were saving people, but at what price? They could die. Every time they pick up a hunt, there’s a chance they won’t come back. Or, they could get hurt, really hurt, and then they won’t have anything left, no money, no house, nothing. Even if nothing terrible happens, you still have to deal with the ‘after’. It means dealing with the nightmares, specifically because even if you’re a tough guy, even if you’re doing the right thing, you still can feel fear and pain. At the end of the day, you’re still killing.

He refused to allow his child to grow up like this, but seeing Dean this happy and excited sends a wave of worry through him. What if Dean doesn’t want to quit hunting? They still hadn’t talk about what would happened once the baby arrived. They needed to find somewhere to stay, somewhere that wasn’t a shitty motel room in the middle of nowhere. They needed money, things for the baby, stability. He’s already almost three months pregnant and nothing is planned. What if Dean chooses hunting instead of him?

 

“Sam?” He jumped when he felt Dean’s hand on his shoulder and turned himself to face what appeared to be a worried Dean. “You alright?”

“Yeah, sure. Just… doing homework.” Dean nodded but didn’t seem convinced.

“Where’s Dad?” he asks, only now noticing that they were alone again. “Went to the bar,” Dean sighs, sitting on the couch.

Thirty minutes. Their dad stayed with them for thirty minutes, after not seeing them for two months in a row. He would never say it out loud, but he misses his dad, even if all they do is fight. Having him with them makes him feel safe.

Apparently, though, their dad doesn’t miss them as much as they do. And it fucking hurts.

“Sorry, about earlier by the way. I saw Dad through the windows and I did the first thing I could think of.”

“I figured.”

Neither of them say anything after that and an awkward silence envelops the room. It wasn’t often that that happened. Normally, they could sit in silence for hours without it being uncomfortable. But not right now.

“Dean, I… maybe we should make plans?” It was more of a question than anything else but at least he started the conversation.

“Yeah. Of course,” Dean was more serious now, moving to a chair so he was sitting next to Sam. “Did you start thinking about it?”

Sam was taken aback by how easily his brother was accepting everything. Ever since he found out about the pregnancy Dean seemed to take everything in stride. He wonders if that’s really how his brother feels, or if he’s as afraid as him but better at hiding it.

“I did, actually.” Running his hands through his hair, he peeked over at his brother. This is the moment. He’s going to find out what Dean is willing to do for him. For them. “I want us to quit hunting. No more ghosts, vampires or any other kind of monsters. I want our baby to have a normal life. A house. No motel rooms ever. I want… I want our baby to have everything we didn’t have.”

He expected Dean to tell him that it wasn’t possible, that they couldn’t do that. But instead, his brother just sat there, looking at him with pain on his face.

“I’m sorry.”

“What?” Sam frowns, not understanding. Was Dean leaving him?

“I’m sorry that you didn’t have that Sammy. A normal life. I… I know that your shitty childhood isn’t all on me but… fuck, you deserved so much more than this.”

It was so rare and unexpected to see Dean like this that Sam couldn’t help but feel guilty. None of this was his brother’s fault, far from it. Dean made things more tolerable for him, not worse.

“It wasn’t all shitty,” he whispered, placing his hands on top of Dean’s. “I mean… I don’t like it most of the time, but we had some good times too. You make it better. I just… I want what’s best for him or her.”

 

“Me too.” Dean smirked, his fingers tracing Sam’s belly before cupping his face and dropping a light kiss on his nose. “I want what’s best for both of you. Didn’t even think about it another way.”

“For you too, Dean. I want what’s best for the three of us. I don’t… I don’t want to force something on you that you don’t want.”

Maybe they could find a compromise. It would kill him to see Dean hunting again, but if that’s what it takes, he’ll agree to it. He refuses to ruin his brother’s life.

“You’re not forcing me into anything.” Dean frowns, surprised by his brother’s words “I love hunting but having a house? And a baby with you? That’s my biggest dream. Hunting is great, but I will leave it in a heartbeat for you. For us.”

Sam lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, a bright smile on his face. Dean laughs before leaning in and kissing him, shyly at first but quickly becoming demanding.

“We still have a lot to talk about.” Dean says as he breaks the kiss.

Sam groans but doesn’t complain. His brother is right. If they don’t talk now, they’ll never do it.

“I was thinking that maybe we could still live in motel room, at least until we save enough money? Before the baby come, of course.”

“Yeah, that would be great” Sam couldn’t help but smile. He could already picture it, his little family in a house or an apartment, somewhere that would be only theirs. “We need to tell Dad, too.”

Dean’s smile drops instantly. “I know. I just… can't we wait a little longer? He won’t take it well and I want to enjoy him as much as I can.”

Even if Sam wasn’t close with their father, Dean was. He’d always worshipped the man.. He could understand that Dean wanted to spend time with him before going away. It would have surprised him if he hadn’t.

“Of course.”

Dean leaves a small kiss on the back of Sam’s hand before dragging his head down to his shoulder. They could only hope that John didn’t find out the truth on his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know, a lot of fluff, but what can I say ? I love emotional-Winchester  
> Comments are really motivating so feel free to leave one, even if it's just one word or two, it's always nice


	11. Chapter 11

They leave the motel the next day, and John is pleased when Sam doesn’t complain about not being able to say goodbye to his friends. Sam wonders if Brandon will miss him, or even notice that he’s gone. He doesn’t get attached easily, but there was something about Brandon that made him loveable and special, and he’s the closest thing Sam ever had to a real friend. Dean tried to comfort him all day, telling him the stupidest jokes he can think of until John threatens to abandon him on the side of the road. Sam cracked a smile at that, which made Dean giggle like a child.

Later, his brother would crawl into the backseat with him, and when they fall asleep, they’ll be holding hands under the blanket.

 

They expected their dad to only stay a couple of days before heading back out on a hunt so they could be alone to finally enjoy their new relationship. Of course, this _would_ be the time John chooses to take a break from hunting.

He’s been with them for nearly four full weeks, working on some secret hunt which doesn’t even leave time for him to go to the bar. Sam is now three months and three weeks pregnant, and even if his belly took it’s time before showing, now it’s here in full force.

He’s wearing Dean’s way too big sweatshirt every day, which is something he does regularly so John doesn’t question it. There’s only so much a sweatshirt can cover though and he’s afraid that their dad will notice soon. Same goes for school. Dean got him a sports exemption, and Sam tries to keep a low profile. He keeps his head down, go straight from the motel to school and back. Dean can’t pick him up or drop him off because of his work schedule so he had to walk to get everywhere.

“How are my babies today?” Dean whispers, his arms sliding around Sam’s waist under the covers.

Sam blushes despite himself. He can’t help it when Dean is calling him baby and being so sweet.

“Great. You?”

“Tired,” Dean sighs, kissing Sam’s temple.

Their dad being here means that they have to share a bed, and they’re more than happy to oblige. Their father is sleeping on the sofa, while they have a room to themselves. They have to be discreet, which means that they need to unwrap themselves from around each other before John wakes up, or at the very least, they pretend to be annoyed by the other. It’s a small price to pay for being able to sleep in each other arms.

“How was school?” “Got an A in literature.”

“That’s my boy!” Dean said proudly, his hands sliding on Sam’s belly and caressing it.

Dean told him that it was common for the father to be obsessed with the bump. Sam suspects he’s just got a weird kink.

He continues to caress his stomach, just below his belly-button, and Sam can feel his dick reacting. He’s starting to breath harder and closes his eyes to distract himself.

 

“Dean, it’s… you need to stop.”

“You don’t like it?” he whispers in his ear, biting the lobe.

“I do,” he breathes while leaning his head back and giving Dean complete access to his throat.

His brother lowers one of his hands until he can slide it in Sam’s underwear, touching his dick shyly. He starts to stroke him gently, his other hand playing with his nipples. Sam had no idea that they could be so sensitive and he lets out a long, involuntary moan that Dean covers with his mouth.

Dean continues jerking him off, alternating between kissing his neck and his mouth. He’s touching him everywhere and Sam can feel his hard cock pressed against his ass. He starts to rub on it, hoping that it will be enough to satisfy Dean. If he could, he would just pull his pants off and let Dean take him right now. Knowing their father could storm in at any moment makes it too dangerous.

“Fuck, Sammy.” Dean’s hips start to move of their own accord. They’re thrusting against Sam’s ass like they’re fucking and just that image is enough to make Sam come on Dean’s hand, face hiding a moan in his pillow.

Dean continues rubbing himself off before coming too and collapsing on top of Sam. “That was so hot,” he says, trying to catch his breath.

“Yeah, it was,” Sam agrees, kissing him again.

It’s the first time they’ve done anything sexual since that night almost four months ago, and this time, both of them are sure the other wants it.

Dean kisses his forehead before getting up to clean them. Sam is more than glad that the room is still dark because he can feel himself blushing.

His brother seems to be taking things really well, and even though Sam is grateful, he can’t help but wonder if it’s because he’s used to it; if maybe it’s not his first time with a man. He knows that Dean’s had a lot of one-night stands with a lot of women, but he never heard him mention any men.

“What’s going on in that big head of yours?” Dean asked, his fingers tracing Sam’s cheeks. “Nothing.”

“Come on Sammy, you can tell me.”

“I…um... have you had sex with a man? Before me, I mean.” He chews his lip and hopes that he hadn’t just ruined the moment.

“No!” Dean said, shifting uncomfortably “Why?”

“You just seem so comfortable with… touching me and all.” Now he’s blushing even harder and he’s considering hiding his face under the pillow.

“I’m not,” Dean laughed, but Sam can hear the nervousness, “I’m really not. I mean, I fucking loved what we just did, trust me. But it’s new and I never done that. I’m just trying not to let everything show I guess.”

Sam smiled and kissed him before resting his head on his chest. It’s rare to see Dean talking so freely, but ever since the beginning of the pregnancy, he seems to be more and more open, and it’s helped Sam to not feel like such a freak. Most of the time, he doesn’t know if what he

 

feels is normal or if he should feel that way, but now that Dean is talking too, he can see that he isn’t a freak, after all. Or well, not as much anyway.

“What about you?” Dean asked, his arms around Sam’s shoulders “How many men and women have you been with?”

“Well, one.” He’s a little ashamed of his lack of experience compared to Dean. Not that he regrets it, though. He couldn’t image having his first time with anyone else but Dean.

“One and then me?” Dean had stopped caressing his arm and Sam frowns, pulling away from Dean’s chest so he can look at him.

“No. You and then you.”

“I was your first time?” Sam can’t read the expression on his brother’s face, but he can tell that it’s not a good one.

“Yeah. Is that a problem?” He honestly can’t figure out why it would be a problem. He would have been delighted to be Dean first, so why was his brother reacting like this?

“No, I… I feel like I’m depriving you from having… well, experiences. Because now you’re stuck with me, and you don’t know how it could be with others.”

“You’re an idiot,” Sam says, turning on the light from his nightstand so they can see each other properly “Sex is… for me, sex is something that you share with someone that you love. Even if we weren’t together, I wouldn’t have gone out and had sex with someone just to get off. That’s not what I want. I want connection, and love. I know that it’s different for you, that sex is just ‘getting laid’, but it’s not for me and if you-” He’s cut off mid-sentence when Dean’s lips crash into his. The kiss is sweet and hard and exactly how he loves it. He closes his eyes and savors the moment.

“I’m sorry. I’m… I just want you to be as happy as possible.” “You make me happy,” Sam whispered shyly.

Dean smiles before dropping a light kiss on his lips.

“I can’t… I don’t remember, how sex was the first time. But I promise that the next time will be even better.”

“’M counting on it.”

They share a few more kisses before falling asleep wrapped in each other arms.

When they wake up the next morning, it’s to their father drumming against the door. Dean gets up first, letting John into the room.

“Hi Dad,” Sam says, covering his body with the blankets.

His father doesn’t even look at him, just walks straight to the wardrobe and starts putting clothes in a bag.

“You’re leaving?” Dean asks, even if it’s obvious. “Found hunt two towns away. We’re leaving right now.”

“We?” Sam is looking at Dean with worried eyes. He can’t go on a hunt while being pregnant, it would be too dangerous. And it’s out of question that Dean goes with their dad. What if something happens? What if Dean get injured, or even worse?

“Dean’s coming with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are love


	12. Chapter 12

“You can’t go!” Sam is sitting on the bed, arms crossed over his chest. Dad is already in the car, waiting for Dean to finish packing his things.

“Sammy, Dad really needs me.” “So do I!”

Dean sighs, putting his last t-shirt in his bag. He wishes he could stay with Sam because he’s right, he does need him, but what is he supposed to do? Tell their dad that no, he can’t come, because Sam is pregnant? No, that won’t be good for either of them. They need a plan before telling Dad because who knows how is he going to react. He won’t take any chances of hurting Sam or the baby.

“It’s only a couple of days, we’ll be back in like, a week, tops.”

Sam doesn’t look convinced, quite the opposite. He’s wearing the exact same face he used to wear when Dean was forcing him to go to bed early when they were little. It’s scary how this kid knows how to manipulate him; and the worst thing is, he’s not even aware of it.

“Am I supposed to go to the ultrasound alone?” Sam is trying to sound angry, but Dean can see hear how scared he really is, how unsure his voice is.

“I’m sure waiting one more week isn’t gonna change anything.”

Sam rolled his eyes, refusing to look at him. Dean can’t blame him, not really. It’s killing him to leave Sam, to leave him to himself in the middle of nowhere, without a car or anything.

What if something happened? What if Sam falls? Or if he’s just feeling sick but no one is here to help him? It was hard enough leaving Sam alone before, but now, between their new relationship and the baby, it was impossible.

He can’t tell Sam that though.

“And then what? Dean, I’m getting bigger and bigger every day. We need to tell Dad, because next time he sees me, there’s no way he won’t see my belly.”

“So, what? I tell Dad that I can’t go with him and we take off together? That’s what you want?”

“Wasn’t that the plan? Telling Dad and running away?”

“I… Sammy, I… it’s the last hunt. I promise. I’ll tell Dad as soon as we get back, ok?”

“I don’t believe you” Sam whispered, his hand running protectively his belly. “I don’t believe that you’re gonna tell Dad. I don’t believe that you want this. We’ve been with Dad for what - almost a month, and you still refuse to tell him,” He takes a deep breath before finally meeting Dean’s eyes “I think you want to stay with Dad. Not with us.”

“That’s not true!” Dean cries, kneeling on the floor in front of Sam. He takes his hands in his, resting them on Sam’s round belly, where their little one is. “I want this more than anything else. I want you, and this baby. I’ll tell Dad, as soon as we come back here. Telling him now isn’t going to do any good.” Sam put his head down because he knows that. This isn’t Dean’s fault, and he’s saying awful things to Dean, things that are hurting him. But it’s how he feels, and he can’t keep it inside of him. “Where do you want to live?”

“What?” Sam frowns, meeting Dean’s eyes again. “Where do you want us to live?”

 

“I don’t… I don’t know.”

Dean smiles, taking Sam’s face gently in his hands. In a moment like that, Sam can see how much Dean really loves him, how deep and true his love really is.

“Then you’ve got a week to think about it. We can go anywhere, even another country if that’s what you want. As soon as I get back, we’re out of here.”

“Anywhere?”

“Anywhere.” He presses their foreheads together, knowing that this is the last moment they have for at least a week – and God, he hopes it won’t be longer than a week. Sam is still wearing his pouting face, but the second Dean’s lips are on his, he opens his mouth, ready to accept him.

They put apart when they hear their father honking. Dean pushes away from him and tries to ignore the tears that are running down Sam’s face. He hates being the reason that they’re there in the first place. He kisses him again before dropping a kiss on Sam’s belly, which makes Sam laugh.

“Take care of the both of you, alright?” Sam nods, his hands still in Dean’s. “Eat well, sleep tight and everything.”

“’M not a baby,” Sam says, rolling his eyes again.

Dean laughs before kissing him one last time. It’s physically painful to move, but if he doesn’t do it, they probably will stay like that all day.

He tries to tell himself that it’s not the first time Sam has stayed alone. Hell, the kid’s been taking care of himself since he was nine. But Sam needs him now, more than ever. And maybe Dean needs him, too.

 

“Took you long enough,” his father says, starting the car. He doesn’t even look at the motel, doesn’t see Sam watching them through the window and Dean wants to scream at his dad. How is it fair for Sam that their father can’t even pretend to care about him?

Without John seeing, Dean blows a kiss to his brother, who smiles despite the tears. One last hunt, one last moment with his dad, and then they’re free.

 

A salt and burn. A fucking salt a burn. That’s all it was. Dad thought it was some kind of old creature that Dean had never heard of, when in fact, it was just a poor little girl who died years ago.

The hunt still took them four days and a lot of bruises. Dean’s feels like someone just rolled over him with a truck, but he doesn’t say anything, just keeps his head up like his father wants him too.

“You wanna go to the bar?” John asks him, getting out of the shower.

“Maybe we could watch a movie together?” He tries to say it nonchalantly like his heart isn’t ready to jump out of his chest.

John finds it weird. Dean can tell by the way he looks at him. But it only lasts a moment before John nods and orders pizza.

 

John isn’t the best dad. Dean is too well aware of that. He doesn’t care about grades, or if you had a great day or not. Dean always saw his dad as a hero, because it’s what he is. But being a hero comes with a lot of traumatizing and shitty memories. Sometimes, it’s like John isn’t really here. Physically, he’s here, but mentally, he’s far away, at war or killing monsters or with their mom. Dean isn’t really sure but in those moments, John isn’t John.

They have always been close, though. And maybe John doesn’t always remember his birthday, but he knows that he’s doing his best. They don’t fight, or not very often, and even if their dad isn’t the best father, it’s gonna hurt like a bitch not to be with him anymore.

He loves Sam. Never loved anyone more than him and never will. But he loves his dad too, in a different way. He doesn’t regret being with Sam like that, how could he regret something that he was waiting so long for? But he just wants to enjoy one last moment with his dad.

He’s not ready to lose another parent.

It’s different for Sam because John and he never get along well. He doesn’t want to say that John doesn’t care for Sam, because he probably does, but it seems like he gave up on him long ago.

They love each other, but they’re too much alike to get along. The funny thing is that they can’t even see how alike they truly are. Sam will miss John once they’re gone, Dean is pretty sure of that. Not that his brother will ever admit it. He’ll be too damn stubborn to say it.

But they’re gonna have a baby. A little boy or a little girl that’s gonna count on them every single minute, and even if their baby isn’t born yet, Dean loves it with his whole heart and soul. When he saw it on the screen in the doctor’s office, he kept thinking about his dad and wondering how he can keep leaving them alone; how he can put so much pressure on them. It’s not really John’s fault but maybe it is a little.

“What’s going on, boy?” John asked Dean, muting the television. “Nothing.”

“Yeah? Because you barely spoke during the drive here.” When Dean doesn’t reply John sighs, running his hands over his face “Look, I know you wanted to stay with your brother. But Sam’s an adult now, he doesn’t need you to be there every single day.”

“Maybe he does.” “No, he doesn’t.”

“How would you know dad? You don’t… you don’t care about Sam,”

John clenched his jaw, dropping his beer on the table. He can be angry, Dean doesn’t care. Right now Sam is all alone, even though Dean promised him he wouldn’t be.

“I care about your brother.” “No, you- “

“Listen, Dean, if one day you have kids, then we’ll talk about it. You don’t know what it’s like to be a dad.”

“Yeah, I think know.”

One last moment with their dad, and then they’ll be free.


	13. Chapter 13

Sam wakes up when he hears someone opening the door. It takes him less than five seconds to pull the gun from under his pillow and aim it in direction of the stranger.

“Heya Sammy.”

He lets out a deep breath and closes his eyes when he hears his brother voice. He’s ready to call him a dick when his brain finally catches up – Dean is here.

He’s out of the bed before he makes the decision to move, throwing himself at his brother's neck. Instead of lifting him from the floor, Dean lets out a little moan. It goes straight to Sam’s guts. Dad is not here, they were on a hunt and Dad is not here and Dean is in pain.

“Dean? What happened? Are you hurt?” He turns the light on, and now he can see that Dean's lips are swollen and that he’s too pale for his own good. “Dean?”

“It’s ok Sammy. Don’t worry,” Despite the pain, Dean smiles and comes closer to Sam, taking him in his arms. Sam lets him, not sure of what to do. “You need to pack up your things.”

“Why? Where’s Dad?”

Dean pulled himself away and starts towards Sam’s closet.

“He’s… I don’t know. I left him at the motel where we were staying and took the car.” He lets out a laugh, but he looks like he’s ready to cry.

“What do you mean you left him?”

“I told him. About the baby. And about us, too. Didn’t take it well.” Sam swallows hard, looking at Dean nervously putting things in his bag.

“Did he hit you?” He doesn’t want to know. Doesn’t want to be the reason Dean and his dad fought.

“I hit him first.” Dean stops moving, and somehow, it’s even worse than when he was panicking. “I… he said things. Awful things. And I hit him. Then he hit me and I… I managed to knock him off. I took the keys and I left like a coward.”

“No,” Sam is running toward Dean, taking his hands in his and forcing him to look at him. There’s so much pain in his eyes, he looks so vulnerable. Sam wishes he could protect Dean from everything, exactly the same way Dean protects him. “You’re not a coward. You’re fucking brave. You did that for me and for our baby. There’s nothing cowardly about it. You protected us, like always.”

Sam moves until Dean is secured in his arms, hiding his head in his brother’s neck. He can feel tears warming his skin, but he doesn’t say anything, just lets Dean cry as long as he needs to.

“Did he hurt you? Do you need me to take a look?” “No, ‘ts ok.”

They stay like that a little longer, just reassuring and enjoying each other. It’s been five days since they’ve seen each other but it feels like so much longer.

“Sammy?”

“Hmm?”

 

“I think your belly just kicked me.” “Yeah, I think so too.”

Dean is moving away; his eyes are still red and swollen but there’s a big smile on his face when he places his hands on Sam’s belly. It quickly goes away, though, much to Sam confusion.

“I missed the first time it moved?”

“Jesus Dean, don’t scare me like that!” He drops a kiss on Dean's lips, careful not to touch the injured region. “It’s the first time I’ve felt it too. I mean, I’ve been feeling something lately, but I didn’t know if it was the baby or just… my stomach. It’s the first time it’s been this strong though.”

“How does it feel?”

“Weird,” Sam grimaces, not sure of what to say. There’s no other word than weird, because that what it is. It’s amazing, sure, but it doesn’t feel good either.

“That’s our baby,” Dean says, forehead against Sam’s. “It’s our baby.” “Yeah, it is.”

They’re smiling at first but then burst out laughing without any explanation. Maybe it’s the stress of the last few days or the joy of being together again, but whatever it is, it feels damn good.

“We should get moving. Dad’s gonna be here pretty soon I think.” “But you took the car.”

“As if that could stop Dad.”

There’s not a lot of things that can stop John Winchester and they both know it. So they start packing again, faster now, until nothing is left in the motel room.

“Got everything?” Dean asked, glancing around the room one last time. “Yep, ready to go.”

They get into the Impala, and even if he won’t say it out loud, Sam is really happy they got to take the car with them. It’s been theirs for so long now, he’s not sure they would have felt complete without it.

“So? Where are we going?”

Sam bites his lip nervously. He’s thought about it for a long time, and he’s pretty sure of his choice. He just hopes Dean will go along with it.

“California.”

Dean smiles, starting the car and putting his music on. “California is it then.”


	14. Chapter 14

In sixteen years of traveling the country without staying long enough to make friends, long enough to know the city they were staying, long enough to be a part of anything, Sam never felt as good as he does now.

 

They’re in the impala, but it feels like the first time they’ve ever driven it. His window is open with his arm hanging out just enjoying the feeling of the air rushing against it, the feeling of freedom. Dean is next to him, beating on the wheel to the rhythm of the music and Sam can’t keep his eyes off him. He can’t stop watching his beautiful, glorious brother, who’s ready to leave everything for him.

 

Dean turns his head, sending Sam a big, bright smile and singing at the same time. “Come on Sammy, you know this song!”

Sam laughs before singing too, quietly at first, but louder than Dean at the end. They’re both laughing, trying to follow along with the music but failing miserably. They don’t even understand the words they are singing but they don’t need to. The music is doing wonders relaxing them and washing their stress away.

 

It’s the first time in a really long time that Sam is happy to be in the car.

 

Hours later, they’re still in the car, but the joy from earlier is rapidly turning into exhaustion, at least for Sam.

 

“Turn to the left, there’s a motel” Sam said, looking at the map on his lap. They drive past the intersection without turning. Dean is concentrated on the road “Dean! I told you to turn.” He sighs, looking at his map again “At the next one, turn left alright?”

 

“Not going to a motel.”

 

“We can’t sleep in the car. My back is killing me. I need a real bed.” Sam bites his lip, realizing why Dean might not want to go to a motel. “Is it about money? Because, I’m sure one night won’t cost that much right?”

 

“Not about money.”

 

“Then what?” Sam is getting a little impatient now, not that anyone could blame him. They’ve been driving for hours now, and even though he’s used to it, it’s harder now that he’s pregnant. The baby has been kicking him for the last couple hours, which made Dean smile like a child because he’s convinced that their baby likes classic rock.

 

Dean doesn’t answer, just keeps driving, one hand on the wheel, the other holding Sam’s. They finally stop the car ten minutes later, in front of a hotel. An honest to God hotel.

 

“Why are we stopping here?” he asks, turning his head to look at Dean. Only now does he sees how nervous Dean looks.

 

“I thought… I don’t want you to sleep in a motel room anymore Sammy. Not today or never again. It’s a bit expensive, but it’s just for one night, right?”

 

Motels are specials places. They’re not a part of the city, not a part of anything really. When you’re staying in one you kind of exist outside of everything. Sam always wonders if this is how ghosts feel, trapped in a place without being part of it but unable to go anywhere else. The furniture, the wallpaper, it will change, of course, but there’s always the same feeling, like all they ever do is travel from one motel to another without ever really leaving it.

 

Dean’s never felt that way At least that’s what Sam thinks, but he can’t ever really know what’s going on in his big brother’s head. Even if he doesn’t feel that way, Dean chose a hotel instead of a motel just to make him happy without Sam even having to say anything. If Sam wasn’t already in love with Dean, he would be now.

 

“Thank you,” he whispers, tears pricking his eyes.

 

Dean bends over so he can kiss him, sweet and loving, before pulling away and caressing his cheek with his thumb.

 

“Are you crying?” he asks, caught between worrying and laughing.  “Shut up,” Sam grumbles, pushing his hand away and wiping at the tears. “It’s adorable,” Dean laughs, kissing Sam again.

“No, it’s not! That’s the baby, not me.”

 

“Stop blaming my baby, would you? I always knew you were a chick Sammy.” “’M not! And that is really sexist by the way.”

“Whatever.” Dean rolls his eyes, still smiling and laughing at Sam. “Jerk”

“Bitch”

 

That’s all it takes for Sam’s anger to disappear. He smiles at Dean before kissing him again, this time deeper.

 

He can feel his dick harden in his pants, rubbing uncomfortably on his jeans. He runs his hand up Dean’s thigh and discovers that the kisses are having the same effect on his brother.

 

“We need… room. We need to get to a room.” Dean is panting, talking against Sam lips while his fingers are playing with Sam’s nipple under his shirt.

 

It physically hurts to push himself away from Dean but there’s no way they will be able to do anything in the car. Not now, anyway. Maybe after the baby is born.

 

They look like a mess when they enter the hotel. Their lips are swollen from kissing, their hair is going in every direction, and even after rearranging themselves, there’s no way anyone would miss their erections.

 

“Hi, we would like a room for the night please,” Dean says, sending a charming smile to the girl behind the counter.

 

“With one bed?”

 

“Yes, please.” He slides his arm around Sam’s waist, tugging him closer. The girl is blushing and trying hard not to laugh, and Sam wants to slap Dean for enjoying this.

 

“You’ll be in Room 43, second floor. Have a nice night sirs.”

 

“Oh, we will.” He smirks while taking the keys, his arm still around Sam. They’re alone in the elevator, as a satisfied smile plays across Dean’s face. “You’re an idiot.”

“Maybe, but I’m your idiot, right?”

 

Sam can’t help but smile too, dropping his head to Dean’s shoulder. “Yeah, you are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment to tell me what you think of it ;)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning : Sex in the chapter so if you don't want to read it, now is the time to leave.  
> Otherwise, enjoy !

The room is bigger than any room they’ve ever stayed in. Everything is white and clean, and there’s a sweet scent in the air. The bed is so big they could probably sleep four in it.

Sam goes to the bathroom first, taking a long hot shower to wash the hours of driving away. When he gets out, Dean is lying on the bed, eyes closed.

“I’m never sleeping in another bed,” Dean moans, rolling himself around. “Come on Sam. You need to try this.”

Sam gladly does as he’s told, collapsing on the bed next to his brother. It’s like lying on a cloud, and he can’t help but moan, savoring the way his back is finally getting some rest.

“This is perfect.”

“Know how it could be even more perfect?” Dean murmurs against his ear, nipping at the lobe.

“How?” Sam shivers “If we were naked.”

Sam’s heartbeat picks up at the words, his dick getting fully hard again. He nods, letting Dean undress him gently. Dean rolls him over, kissing the back of his neck, then down his back. He applies a little more pressure in all the spots Dean knows are tense, before stopping just below his ass.

“Do you… I want to do something but I’m not sure you’re gonna like it,” Dean says, caressing Sam’s ass with his hands.

“Do it.”

“Don’t want to know what it is?”

“Just do it.” Sam is already panting hard and he can’t think of a thing Dean could do that he wouldn’t love. He’s praying to God that whatever Dean has planned, it involves his ass.

Dean leans up to place a kiss on his lips before returning to his place. Nothing happens for a moment, and then Sam feels Dean’s hands pulling his cheeks apart. Suddenly he can feel Dean’s hot breath against his asshole.

When Dean gives the first lick, Sam hands clench tightly into the sheets. “Want me to stop?”

“No!” he yelled, turning his head to look at Dean “Keep going. Please.” They haven’t even started and Sam is already begging. He would be embarrassed if he wasn’t so turned on.

 

Dean smiles before doing as he’s told, licking Sam once then twice. When Sam thinks it can’t get any be better, he feels Dean’s tongue dart _inside_ of him, and he closes his eyes against the pleasure.

His brother tongue dives deeper and deeper, in and out, until Sam hips are moving on their own, trying to pull it even deeper. Then Dean adds a finger along with his tongue and Sam is gone.

“Dean, you need to stop!” It’s probably one of the most painful thing he ever had to say. “Sorry, I thought you liked it.” He sounds ashamed.

“I do, but I… I want more. Please Dean, give me more.”

He turns around so he’s lying on his back, finally getting a good look at his brother’s face. His lips are swollen, and his pupils dark with what Sam knows is lust. He looks like an animal.

“Want you,” Sam says, wondering what he must look like.

“Fuck Sammy.” Dean kisses him again before getting up and tearing his clothes off.

It’s the first time Sam has seen Dean naked since they started their new relationship, and if he thought Dean was beautiful before it’s nothing compared to now.

“You’re glorious.”

Dean laughs before getting on the bed again. He fingers catch in Sam’s hair, playing with it. “Must be in the genes then.”

It makes Sam laugh too, but he’s cut off when Dean starts to kiss him again, his hands finding a position on his hips. Sam takes this opportunity to wrap his legs around Dean’s waist, bringing him closer.

Everything after that is happening too fast for him to register anything. One moment Dean is kissing him, the next his mouth is on his nipple, taking it between his sinful lips and making Sam arch his back.

With one hand, Dean grabs a bottle of lube off floor, and Sam wonders when he put it there, not that it matters.

He feels Dean lubed fingers against his ass, one of them sliding in without any resistance. “If it gets to be too much we’ll stop alright?”

“Please,” Sam moans, fucking himself on Dean’s finger. One finger becomes two, and, with a little resistance, three.

Sam is a fucking mess. He keeps rocking on Dean’s hand, trying to get the fingers deeper, and when Dean moves them a little differently, Sam can swear he sees stars.

“Ready for more?”

 

“Yes!” He screams, already thinking of how good Dean’s dick will feel. It’s not like he doesn’t know, they’ve already had sex. But it was nothing like this. It was intense, and good, but now, there’s the knowledge that Dean truly loves him, that he will stay with him, always, no matter what. Add to that the pregnancy hormones and Sam is ready to die.

He feels the head of Dean’s cock against his entrance and it takes all his will power not to move and put it in himself.

Dean is going slow, so slow, like he’s afraid Sam will break if he goes harder. It’s cute and Sam appreciates the thought, but it’s not what he needs right now.

One quick movement and he’s pulled Dean’s dick all the way inside. They both stop, Dean’s forehead against his, panting hard.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Dean whispers, kissing Sam.

“Feel so full De.” Dean is kissing his neck now, licking every available surface, and Sam is desperate. “Move. Please, move.”

Dean does as he’s told, slowly at first, but quickly picking up speed, both of them having waited for this for so long. He picks a good rhythm and changes his angle so he’s hitting right against Sam’s prostate.

Sam keeps screaming, is pretty sure he’s even begging, but he can’t find himself to care. It’s so good, so intense, and his dick is leaking steadily. His dick is trapped between their bodies, but there’s not enough friction on it for him to come. Dean must see it because one of his hands moves from his hips to encircle his dick.

“Wanna come Sammy?”

Sam nods, can’t forms words with his mouth now, not when Dean lips are on his lips and his dick is sliding against his prostate.

He starts to stroke him with the same rhythm as his thrusts. Sam throws his head back and screams his brother name even louder before coming all over his hand and between their bodies.

Dean fucks him through his orgasm and he can feel himself clenching around him. “Sam!” Dean yells before releasing inside of him.

Dean collapses next to him, not wanting to hurt the baby by lying on it. “Fuck,” Sam moans, trying to breath normally.

“Yeah,” Dean laughs before pulling Sam into his arms, kissing his head. “That was awesome!”

“Perfect.”

They’re silent for a moment, just sharing little kisses here and there, before Dean cleans them up and pulls the covers over them.

 

They’re wrapped around each other, Sam being the little spoon with one of Dean’s hands resting on his stomach, the other holding his hand.

“Sammy?”

“Hmm?” Sam replies, already falling asleep. He can feel Dean holding back a laugh, lips against his head.

“Think I got you pregnant?”

Dean burst into laughter when Sam throws a pillow at his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are more than welcome ;)


	16. Chapter 16

“As you can see, the windows are double glazed which is really important.”

The lady goes on and on, but Sam stopped listening a long time ago. They’re visiting a house in San Francisco, and even if the house is lovely, he knows that they can’t afford it. It’s a good neighborhood with flowers in the street and children playing on the road. He saw the look the realtor gave them when they arrived, how she squinted at his big, big belly.

He’s a 16 year old pregnant boy and Dean isn’t grown up yet either. This was a stupid idea; they can’t take care of a child, can’t buy a house, or do anything. He doesn’t even know how to change a diaper and in less than 4 months, the baby will be here.

As if all that wasn’t enough, his stomach his burning and his legs feels like poles.

“Dean, why are we even here?” He hisses at his brother as soon as they’re alone. “We can’t afford this. We’re losing time! It’s been weeks, and all we’ve done is look at expensive houses.”

“Yeah, so what? We’re having our baby in a hotel room?”

“No. We should be looking for something that is in our budget.”

“Places that are in our budget aren’t the places we want to raise our child.”

“We don’t have a choice!” He yells, throwing his hands in the air “We don’t have a fucking choice. We need to find something soon because we’re behind. We should already be planning the nursery, we missed the last doctor’s appointment, I’m not registered in any school and you don’t have a job. All we do is tour houses that we can’t buy!”

Dean clenches his jaw, eyes full of anger and hurt maybe, Sam’s not sure, he’s too angry to focus on Dean’s feelings right now.

“Gentlemen? A problem?”

“No.” They both answer, not even looking at her. The lady – Miranda or something, smiles awkwardly before leaving the room, leaving them alone once again.

“I’m trying to do the right thing, Sam.”

“Yeah, well I’m trying to be realistic. We don’t know shit about what we’re doing and we don’t have a plan.”

“Yes, we do! Our plan is to give our child a good life. To give you a good life!” “How is it gonna be a good life if we don’t even have a home?!”

“You don’t think I’m trying?” Dean asked, getting up from his chair. Sam would have done the same thing but there’s no way he can get up right now “I worked my ass off at different shitty jobs, so we can afford something. I took care of you, even when I didn’t know it was my baby. You’re acting like I don’t give a shit when it’s all I think about. I don’t want you

 

and the baby to live some shitty life, but it’s fucking hard, Sam! I don’t know what to do either!”

Five months ago, Sam would probably have yelled back, or looked for a solution; anything but burst into tears like he did.

Dean is in front of him in a heartbeat, pulling him into his arms and rocking him like a baby. Why is he like this? It’s like his body and his mind don’t belong to him anymore.

“Hush, Sammy, it’s ok, I promise. We’re gonna be ok.”

“I’m awful” Sam said, blowing his nose in Dean’s shirt “I’m sorry, you’re amazing and I’m so mean.”

“Hey, no, you’re not.” Dean took his head in his hands, brushing the tears away “It’s normal. And you’re right, we should hurry a little. But I… I just want what’s best for the two of you.”

Sam leaned into Dean’s hands, closing his eyes and enjoying the warm feeling against his skin. He’s stopped crying, but he’s exhausted now, can’t even concentrate on what Dean is saying.

“Can we go back to the hotel? I’m tired,” He whispers, throwing his arms around his brother. “Of course, Sammy.”

Sam is so dizzy that he doesn’t even notice Dean guiding into the car, nor the drive to the hotel. Dean even took his clothes off before tucking him in bed, making a nest with the covers.

It’s warm and comfy, and the last thing he’s aware of is Dean caressing his hair and talking about an appointment with the doctor.

 

 

 

He wakes up three hours later, still exhausted but better. He goes to the bathroom first, splashing water on his face before looking in the mirror. He has some new acne on his face, either from the pregnancy or the puberty.

He can think clearly now, and he’s ashamed of how he reacted earlier. Dean is trying his best, he knows that, and if he’s being completely honest, he’s doing a really great job. Whether it’s massaging his feet, helping him to put his shoes on, or watching the most annoying documentaries with him, he does everything without complaining. He even got a room in an actual hotel, so Sam can relax comfortably. Also, it’s holidays anyway, so it’s not like he’s actually missing any classes.

Dean must have so much pressure on him right now. He didn’t even ask him how he was feeling, or how he was coping.

He’s pulled out of his thoughts when Dean enters the room.

 

“Hi,” Sam says, standing awkwardly next to the bathroom door. “Hey. You feeling better?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

Dean smiles before walking forward him and taking him in his arms. Sam sighs in relief, only now realizing that he was worried Dean would be pissed at him. In his defense, Dean was out of the room when he woke up.

“We’ve got an appointment tomorrow morning,” he says, taking Sam’s coat out of the closet. “Great,” Sam says, putting his pants on. Apparently, they’re going out.

“Got a surprise for you.”

He wants to ask what it is, but he doesn’t want to ruin it so he follows Dean silently to the car, and doesn’t say anything even after they start driving.

Dean looks anxious, sending smiles toward Sam from time to time. It’s probably supposed to be reassuring but it’s not at all.

“So… how are you feeling?” Dean asked after a while “Good. The baby keeps moving.”

Dean smiles widely, letting his hand rest on Sam’s knee. “Really? Shit. I feel like we found out about it yesterday.” “Oh, I can feel the months passing, believe me.”

They laugh, and Sam is finally able to relax entirely. He drops his head on Dean’s shoulder and enjoys the ride.

The car stops half an hour later, in front of a house. It’s not a huge house, but it’s a decent size. They’re out of the city probably fifteen minutes or so.

“Come on” Dean said, opening Sam’s door.

They need a key to access the house and Sam frowns when Dean pulls it out of his pocket. “We’re just visiting.” Dean defends himself at Sam’s look.

There’s an abandoned garden, with an old swing and dead flowers. The living room looks a little sad, with only an old sofa in it. There’s an actual hole in the stairs, and when Sam looks at Dean with wide eyes, his brother laughs awkwardly. The bathroom isn’t much better, far from it. The kitchen is nonexistent, but there’s three big bedrooms upstairs.

“So uh, with a little imagination, you could see it. Like, this room, it would be ours, with a closet here, a big bed here, and, like, other things here and here.” Dean is moving all over the room “The next room, it would be our baby’s room. I don’t know about the colors, but still have time to think about that. The kitchen will be quick to do, and the bathroom, well, it’s a

 

little harder but it will be ok. I don’t think it would take a lot of money to do all the renovations.” He turned toward him, biting his lip, “What do you think?”

“It’s… It’s great. I mean, with a lot of imagination, it’s actually great.” “So you would like to live here?”

Sam thinks about it for a moment. It’s not the big, white house they dreamt of, but it’s not the shitty motel they’re running away from either. It’s not perfect, but he can see himself here with Dean and the baby.

“Yeah, I like it.”

“Great.” Dean lets out a big breath, arms encircling Sam’s waist “Because I already bought it.”

Sam stands agape, not sure of how to react. But when he sees Dean eyes shining, he looks one last time at the room and he smiles too. It’s a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter got so little comments, I'm just wondering if someone is still reading this? Or are you getting tired or the fic? I need to know so I can adapt the fic.


	17. Chapter 17

“Mr. Winchester and Mr...”

“Campbell,” Dean says, sitting on the chair next to Sam.

“Alright, I’m doctor Schmidt, and I’ll be taking care of you from now until your delivery.”

Doctor Schmidt is much older than their previous doctor, who was already too old for Sam’s liking. He doesn’t have any hair, his eyes are hidden by big glasses and he keep sniffling in the most disgusting way.

“So, Sam, I see here that your 22 weeks pregnant?”

“Yes sir,” Sam answered, nervousness taking over his voice.

“Oh, don’t call me sir, it makes me feel old.” The doctor smiles, giving Sam a wink. “You can call me Alan.”

 

Sam smiles, feeling a little less nervous. Dean puts his hand on his knee, offering him some emotional support.

“Let’s get started, should we?”

He changes into the too small hospital gown and tries to hide himself the best he can before sliding onto the examination table. It’s stupid because soon, this same man will have his head between his legs, but he can’t keep himself from doing it.

“Is everything going well with the pregnancy so far? Not too much pain, or difficulties breathing?”

“No,” Sam answered honestly. The only time he did had trouble breathing was after spending his whole day walking, nothing alarming.

“He… he’s had a lot of… uh… mood changes? I guess...” Dean says, not looking at Sam. “I know that it’s normal, but it really freaks me out. I mean, one second he was ready to kill me, and the next he was crying like a baby.”

“Hey!” Sam slapped his arms and his brother grimaced before raising his shoulders like he didn’t do anything wrong.

The doctor laughed, finishing the examination before moving next to the ultrasound machine.

“Well, get ready to have a lot of that in the next few months young man. Sam isn’t only pregnant, he’s also a teenager so his hormones are going crazy. But, if you limit stressful situations, it may be a bit better.”

“Nothing to worry about then?” “No, nothing to worry about.”

Dean sighs, grinning like a fool at Sam before kissing his forehead. Sam is torn between sulking because Dean had the need to ask the doctor about his mood or smiling because it’s actually really sweet how much Dean cares.

He doesn’t have time to think about it because the doctor is applying the cold gel to his belly. He starts the ultrasound, rolling the wand around until he finds what he wants. Sam hold his breath, afraid that something might be wrong. What if there’s a problem with the baby? What if there’s a problem with him? He can feel the baby moving, but it’s not enough to be sure that everything is fine.

“Well, that’s a pretty baby you got here. All tall and big.” He lets out a breath and feels Dean doing the same.

“Do you want to know the sex?” “No!” Dean answers before him.

He frowns, looking at Dean with interrogative eyes. They talked about it, and they both agreed that they wanted to know the sex of the baby.

 

“I mean, could you like, write it down, on a paper?” “Of course.”

“What?” Sam asked, still confused.

“I’ve got an idea,” Dean said before kissing his lips. “Trust me.”

Sam nods and watches as Dean takes the paper from the doctor. It’s funny how much power that little piece of paper will have on their life.

They don’t really care about whether it’s a girl or a boy. They’ll both be happy as long as the baby is healthy. Dean keeps saying that it will be a boy, because he, apparently, can “feel it”, whatever that means.

Once the examination is over, they quickly tell the doctor goodbye before climbing in the impala. They spent the previous night in their new home, laying on the pillows Dean threw on the floor and celebrating their new house by having sex right there.

It’s pretty hard to spend the whole night on the floor when your belly is as big as Sam’s though, so they’re supposed to buy a bed at the store today.

“You hungry?”

“Yeah, kind of,” Sam says, rubbing his belly. “I saw a diner not to far away. Is that ok?”

“God, yeah. I want to eat a burger so bad.” Just talking about it make his mouth water.

“You? Sam Winchester? My little brother? You want a burger? What happened to the ‘we need to eat healthy’ thing?”

“Well, apparently, the baby got your tastes because I really, really want a burger right now.” “If I had any doubts about the paternity, they’re all gone!”

Sam smacked him lightly, but Dean just laughed until Sam was smiling too. Stupid brother.

When they enter the diner, Sam tries his best not to let the way people look at him bother him. He needs to get used to it because soon, he’ll be back at school and everyone will look at him and judge him all day.

He can deal with the looks and the judgement, but he’s afraid someone would come at him in a physical way. People can be crazy sometimes, they know that better than anyone, and he doesn’t want to risk their baby’s life.

“Burger then?” Dean asked, sitting in front of him. “Yeah. With fries. A ton of fries.”

“Sammy, I’m kind of afraid you won’t be able to fit in Baby soon.”

 

“You’re an ass!” He rolls his eyes and stands the menu up in front of him so he can’t see Dean.

He feels Dean sliding his foot between his legs before moving it up, rubbing the inside of Sam’s knees. Fuck, he’s is playing dirty, and Dean knows it. Since their first time, Sam’s had an increased sex drive, both from the hormones and from the fact that Dean is freaking good in bed.

“Stop,” he says, trying not to show how it’s affecting him. “Why Sammy? You don’t like it?”

“Deeaan,” Sam wines, putting his puppy dog eyes on display. “Alright, I’ll stop if you give me a kiss. How’s that sound?”

“Great” Sam tries to sound annoyed, but as soon as Dean lips are on his, he can’t hide his smile anymore. Dean slides his tongue against Sam lips until he opens his mouth, letting him kiss him properly.

“Uh… Are you ready to order?”

They split up immediately and Sam doesn’t know who’s blushing more, them or the poor waitress.

“Yeah, sorry,” Dean said, looking at the menu one last time “So, uh, two burgers. With a lot of fries please.”

She smiled before all but running away from their table, which makes Dean laugh.

The rest of lunch goes without any problems and the two of them get ready to tackle the rest of their to-do list. First, Dean needs to find a new job, then, they need to start the renovations on the house. Dean still doesn’t want to say how much money they have left but Sam doesn’t say anything, knowing that it would only stress him out anyway.

“I’m gonna order dessert.”

“I’m not sure I want any,” Sam says, his hand dropping to his belly. They really need to get him new clothes.

“Yeah, you want one. We’ll share.” “You’re gonna share your pie?”

“Well, maybe, yeah.” Dean smiles before walking off.

Sam doesn’t mention that the waitress is supposed to come back at their table since is Dean looking way too happy going up to the counter.

He comes back with a slice of pie, but Sam can’t tell what flavor it is. “What did you get?” He asked when Dean sits back in front of him.

 

“Well, that’s the thing. It’s either strawberry, or cherry...” Dean looks stressed, his hands keep moving from his face to his hair.

“Ok…?”

“If it’s strawberry, we’re having a boy. If it’s cherry, then it’s a girl.”

Sam heart misses a beat and tears immediately spring to his eyes. It’s the sweetest thing Dean’s ever done, and God knows he’s done some crazy sweet things lately.

“Are you gonna cry?”

“No,” Sam says, voice shaking “Shut up. Let’s… let’s eat.” “Yeah.”

They both look at the pie for a long time, longer than they’ve ever stared at any other pie before when Dean finally picks up his fork.

“We should close our eyes. Keep up the surprise.” “How are we supposed to eat it if our eyes are closed?” “Oh, come on, it’s not hard. Let’s try? Please?”

Sam nods before taking his own fork. He closes his eyes and cuts a piece of the pie before guiding it to his mouth.

They probably look really stupid, eating pie with their eyes closed, but Sam doesn’t care. His heart is beating so hard that Dean is probably able to hear it, and he can’t think of anything else but the flavor of the pie.

He puts it to his mouth and recognizes the taste immediately.

When he opens his eyes, Dean is looking at him with a wide smile on his face. “Strawberry.” he whispers, smiling back at Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I looked online and the two pies seemed pretty identicals. Let's pretend anyway.  
> If some of you have ideas of the baby name, feel free to tell me !


	18. Chapter 18

“No. No way!” Dean says, his face twisting in disgust. “Why not?”

“Because Sammy, we’re not gonna name our baby Albert. You want him to be hated at school?”

“Yeah, well, I like the name.” Sam rubs his huge belly and he can feel Dean’s gaze on him. “Not Albert,” Dean repeats, but his voice is softer now. “You know what name I love?” “Don’t say it.”

“Come on you know..”

“Dean, I said no, and I’ll say no again.”

“Zeppelin!” Dean says proudly, turning the radio on.

 

“Yeah, because Zeppelin is so much better than Albert” Sam rolls his eyes. “I think it is, yeah.”

Dean starts singing Stairway to Heaven until his voice is louder than the music, and Sam can’t help smiling too. Dean seems so happy, so free, even more so than before. If he was being honest, it’s been a long time since Dean’s been happy. Before he fell pregnant, Dean was more and more distant. Not just with him but with their dad too. Sam hadn’t really paid attention to it, caught in his own problems, but now he can clearly see the difference.

Maybe it’s selfish, but knowing that he’s part of the reason Dean is happy makes his heart soar.

“We still have what, like 3 months to decide?”

“Yeah, but I think we should choose now right. I mean, what if there’s a problem and you end up being in charge of the baby’s name. I don’t want my son’s name to be Zeppelin.”

Dean frowns before looking at Sam, a worried expression on his face. Sam bits his lip, knowing too well he just ruined the moment.

Since the beginning of the sixth month of his pregnancy he’s started having nightmares, and they get more and more horrific every night. At first it was his mom, burning alive on the ceiling. Then it was his dad, eaten by a werewolf. When he dreamt of Dean dying, he woke up screaming so loud that his throat hurt for several days. After that, it was only him or the baby dying. Even with Dean’s reassuring words, he can’t get it out of his mind.

“The doc said it was normal to have nightmares, Sammy,” Dean says, putting his hand on his brother’s.

“I know, Dean. I just… It’s scary, you know?”

“I know. But there’s no need to be scared. I promise, everything is fine. The baby is fine, you’re fine, I’m fine. So, it’s ok, alright?”

“Yeah” Sam tries to sound convincing but fails miserably. He drops his head on his brother’s shoulder, enjoying the heat that emanates from him.

“Plus, Zeppelin Winchester? This is some badass shit.”

Sam laughs, which leads to Dean smiling brightly. Maybe Dean is right about the nightmares, but he won’t let him choose the baby’s name.

“Here we go.” Dean says, stopping the car.

Sam looks at the building, the knot in his stomach getting bigger.

It’s his first day at school, and he’s less than thrilled about it. Being new is already hard, but new and pregnant? Yeah, not for him. He’s not even sure he will be able to finish the year. It’s January, and the baby is due in April. He’s already tired all the time, plus counting all the times he needs to go to the bathroom, or his legs hurt, and on and on.

 

“I’m not sure I want to do this.” He looks at Dean with wide eyes, the panic taking over. “I can’t Dean. This was stupid. I can’t. Let’s go home.”

“Sam, hey, buddy, it’s school. You love school! We talked with the principal, remember, and he said that you can leave the room if you’re not ok and all. It’s all good. You’ll be good.”

“But what if I’m not? I mean, I won’t finish the year anyway.”

“Damn right you will,” Dean frowns “You’ll have the baby, and the next day, you’ll be back to school.”

“Right.” Sam rolls his eyes, looking at the big building.

He should take classes online. That would have been so much smarter. Why did he never listen to Dean?

“Sam, my shift starts in ten minutes, I need to go.” “I can do it.”

“Yeah, you can.” Dean smirks, squeezing Sam hand.

Dean kisses him slowly, until Sam completely forgets where he is, and then he lets go of him. “Text me.”

“You too” Sam says, getting out of the car.

They finally bought him new clothes, as neutral as possible, and he made sure that Dean wore every single one of them. Maybe it’s stupid or he should be ashamed, but having Dean’s scent on him, even if it’s barely perceptible, reassures him.

“Hey!” Someone says behind him.

Sam freezes immediately, mentally preparing himself for some jackass. “I’m Jonathan,” The boy says, smiling and extending his hand toward Sam.

The guy is taller than him, with black hair and glasses. He looks friendly, but Sam knows better than to judge someone by how they look.

“Hi, I’m Sam.”

“Yeah, the principal told us about you.” Jonathan smiles again, his eyes dropping discreetly to Sam’s belly. Sam instinctively puts his hands over his stomach. “You’re not the only one.”

“What?” Sam frowns, his heartbeat getting stronger. He doesn’t like the guy.

“To be pregnant, I mean. There’s Paula, who is like, five months pregnant I think? Honestly, we don’t really care here. As long as you’re happy, it’s not our business.”

“Yeah, right, and I guess there are rainbows coming out of people asses too?”

 

Jonathan looks hurt for a moment, but he doesn’t do anything except smile at him. Sam feels bad immediately. The guy was obviously just trying to be nice to him, but he’s expecting everyone to be a monster lately. Even Dean, too his dismay.

“I’m sorry, I… Sorry...”

“I get it,” Jonathan says, “Bad experience?” Sam nods.

“Well, at this school, you won’t have any problems. It’s not perfect, far from that, but there’s rules and a really strict policy about bullying.”

“And it works?”

“It does, yeah.” He smiles again, his eyes shining with proudness. “I’ll show you around, if that’s ok with you?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

Maybe going to this school wasn’t such a bad idea.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No hate forward Jensen's baby name. It's actually cute, but I can't see Sam loving it  
> Tell me what you think of it !  
> And I'm still taking names suggestion


	19. Chapter 19

“Dean?” Sam calls, turning the light next to the bed on. He looks next to him only to find Dean’s side empty once again.

He sighs, getting out of the bed a gently as he can. He’s seven months pregnant now, and he’s pretty sure that he won’t be able to walk if he keeps getting bigger.

He goes to the bathroom first, before walking the house looking for his brother.

Since they moved into the house, Dean’s spent his days working his ass off at work, before doing the same at home. He wants everything to be perfect for the baby, even if it means not getting enough sleep, or neglecting Sam.

That part isn't true, and Sam knows that. Dean is doing all this for him, for them, but all he can see is that his brother isn’t playing any attention to him. Or not enough anyway.

 

“Dean…” Sam sighs, finally finding him in the kitchen, working on the stove “Dean, it’s late, why are you up?”

“Thought I could fix this now. It’s dangerous for you.”

“I don’t cook,” Sam says, sitting on the chair “Even if I did, I know how to be careful.”

“Yeah but I don’t want to risk it. It’s done anyway.” Dean looks at his work with a proud smile on his face.

“Can we go to sleep now?”

“I wanted to do the painting in the nursery tonight.”

“It can wait!” Sam says, anger rising through him “I want to sleep, Dean.” “Go to sleep, I’ll be quiet.”

“No! I want to go to sleep with you by my side!” “Sam, I need to do this-“

“No, you don’t. Not tonight. The house is fine, alright? The nursery doesn’t need to be done right now. We have 2 months left, and I’m sure that the baby won’t mind if the painting isn’t done.”

“I’m not tired, Sam. Just go to sleep, alright?” Dean says, grabbing the paint bucket.

“Are we… are we having money problems? I still don’t know how we paid for the house, and you keep working so hard. Do we have problems and you’re refusing to tell me? Or… or am I the problem?”

“What? No, Sammy, you’re not!” Dean lets go of the bucket and sits next to Sam, taking his hands in his “No, we don’t have money problems. I mean, we’re not rich, but we’re good.”

“Where did the money come from?” “I saved it, awhile ago.”

Sam bites his lip, Dean words echoing through him. “You wanted to leave? Back when we were with Dad?” “It was for you.”

“For me?”

“For your studies,” Dean admits. “I know you wanted to go to college Sammy. Hell, you probably still do. So I started saving, a while ago now. And well, I may have taken some money from Dad before we left too.” He laughs, scratching his head.

“I never told you that.”

“You didn’t need too. I mean, you ran away from us when you were what, 12? It was just a matter of time before you left us for good.”

 

Sam can hear the sadness in Dean’s voice, and his stomach twists when he realizes how it must have felt for Dean, knowing that his own brother wanted to run away from him.

“It wasn’t… it wasn’t like that. I don’t like hunting, I never did. I wanted to go to college but it was… it was mostly to get away from you.”

“What?” Dean’s face falls and his voice get smaller.

“No, not like that!” Sam says, squeezing Dean’s hands “I wanted to get away from you because of… well because of this.” He points to his belly, “I was already deadly in love with you, and I wanted to run because it was the best option. Or so I thought.”

Dean lets out a breath before smiling. “You freaked the fuck out of me.”

“Sorry,” Sam grimaces “I just… Dean, I don’t get why you’re working so hard. I need you, but you’re… you’re not here”

“That’s not true,” he frowns “I just want everything to be perfect.”

“It’s not going to be perfect. I mean, if you want it to be perfect, it won’t work. It doesn’t have to be perfect for us to be happy. So what if the painting isn’t done? It won’t change a thing. I’d rather have an unfinished house full of joy than a perfect one without any happiness.”

Dean looks down, rubbing his thumb against Sam’s skin. He knows he should spend more time with Sam, he shouldn’t get up in the night or do so many overtime hours at work. He just doesn’t want to mess anything up, because Sam deserves the best and so does the baby. He doesn’t want them to miss out on a single thing, no matter what happens to him.

He won’t say it, but Sam’s nightmares scare him more than any monster he’s ever seen. He knows they’re just dreams, but it makes him think a lot. If something happened to him, Sam and the baby will be left alone. He wants to secure everything to be sure that if he’s not here, Sam won’t have to worry about money or renovations.

“I’m sorry,” he says “I… I will try.”

“Thanks,” Sam leans in to drop a kiss on his lips. “Can we go to bed now? I need to pee.” “Didn’t you just pee?”

“Shut up.”

Dean laughs, taking Sam’s hand in his before going upstairs.

After Sam goes to bathroom, they both lie in bed, sharing kisses and smiles. Tomorrow is Sunday and neither of them have to worry about school or work. They can enjoy their time together without worrying about the clock.

“Kick one time if you want a yellow room.” Dean says, head against Sam’s belly. “You know it doesn’t work that way, right?”

 

“Uh, Sammy, I’m having a conversation with my son.”

Sam rolls his eyes but can’t help smiling, his fingers playing in Dean’s hair. He grimaces when he feels the baby kicking his rib, much to Dean amusement.

“See? I told you it would work!”

“Awesome.” He rolls his eyes again, but Dean doesn’t play any attention to him.

Instead, he pushes Sam’s shirt out of the way, revealing his round belly, before putting his finger on it.

“Alright baby, kick once if you want pancakes tomorrow morning.” Dean taps his fingers gently over Sam’s belly, and they see the baby responding.

“It’s a yes,” Sam says, amused by the game too.

“Ok, next one, kick once if your dad and I should have sex.” “Dean! No!” Sam laughs, shoving Dean off.

“He kicked back!” Dean defends himself. “You know he’s not really responding?”

“We don’t know, Sammy boy,” Dean says, kissing Sam’s lips. “Ok, new one for you baby... Should Sam marry me?”

Sam heart skips a beat as Dean looks at him, hope filling his eyes. The baby kicks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, thank you all for all the comments, they mean so much for me !  
> The fic is now entierly beta, but this chap isn't yet, but in a few days it will be, sorry for the mistakes on this one


	20. Chapter 20

“Dean, we… we can’t get married...” Sam says, sitting up in bed. “Why not?”

“Pretty sure incest isn’t legal here.” “Who said we were brothers?” “Um...what do you mean?”

“I mean that no one here knows we’re brothers. I already got a fake ID, so we just need to go to the clerk’s office and that’s it, we’re married.”

“But… I don’t know Dean. What if they find out?”

“They won’t,” Dean says before biting his lip “Either way, I’ll sign the birth certificate, so they’ll find out then that something is wrong.”

 

“I didn’t think about that,” Sam admits.

“I did. I… I want us to get married so we will be able to have the same name again. I know it shouldn’t matter, but it does. If you don’t want to, I won’t force you, but-“

“I want to!” Sam says, “Of course I want to!” “So, it’s a yes?”

“Yes!” Sam replies, a wide smile on his face.

Dean takes Sam’s face between his hands before kissing his brother as hard as possible. Sam happily lets him do it.

They keep kissing while Dean works Sam’s pants out of the way, leaving him completely naked. Next he moves down to start sucking on his nipples, biting gently. He stops abruptly, much to Sam’s incomprehension and annoyance.

“The fuck?” He says, still panting.

“I don’t… I got something in my mouth” Dean says, licking his lips. “What?”

“I think… I think you’re leaking.”

They both look at Sam’s nipple, and Sam can feel his face becoming red with embarrassment. Dean is trying very hard to hold back his laugh, but is failing miserably.

“It’s not funny!” Sam says, covering his breast.

“No, you’re right, I’m sorry.” Dean bites on his lips not to laugh, but Sam can see the way his eyes are sparkling.

“Dean!”

“I’m sorry, but you got milk coming out of your breast.” He laughs freely this time, and Sam throw the pillow in his face.

“It’s not even milk. It’s… Yellow. You think it’s normal?”

“Yeah, I think it is.” Dean says, putting the pillow back in its place. “You think? I didn’t even know I was supposed to have milk at all!” “Not all the men can. I mean, it’s more common for them to not to.”

“Even during my pregnancy I succeed at being a freak,” Sam whispers, pulling his legs close to his chest.

Dean frowns before moving over on the bed, taking Sam in his arms. “Hey, hey, baby. It’s ok, I swear.”

“You don’t have leaky boobs!” Sam’s voice is shaking and tears are pricking his eyes.

 

“Yeah, but you don’t have heavy breasts, so it’s just a one-time thing, alright? And even if it’s not, then what? You’ll be able to feed our child, I don’t see how it’s a problem.”

“I don’t want to,” Sam says, hiding his face in Dean’s neck “Does that make me a bad dad? Not wanting to feed my baby?”

“Of course it doesn’t, Sammy.”

Dean holds Sam close to his chest, trying to reassure his brother as much as he can.

It’s painful, to see Sam crying and calling himself a freak. Every time it’s happened, all Dean can see is the little teenaged boy that would refuse to talk to him, and would throw things, and slam the door. Sam wasn’t an angry teenager, he was a depressed teenager.

Sometimes, Dean wonders if he should have insisted on an abortion. He’s ready to have a baby, more than ready. But he’s not sure if Sam is. Because Sam, as perfect and lovely he is, he’s still a child himself. He’s afraid he’s taking Sam’s life away, stealing his future from him.

Sam will love their son. Dean knows that. He already loves him. But it doesn’t take his guilt or fear away. He doesn’t want Sam to hate himself because of him.

“You’ll be a great dad, Sam,” he says, and it’s true. Sam cares about people so much, he’s got the biggest heart he’s ever seen, he’ll love this baby more than anything. Maybe that’s what really scares Dean, that Sam will love the baby so much that he’ll forget about Dean.

“You too, Dean,” Sam admits, taking Dean’s hand “You’ll be the best.” Sam moves until his head is resting on Dean’s chest.

“Sammy?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

It’s the first time he’s said those words and he can feel Sam smiling against him before dropping a kiss right on his nipple.

“I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short, but the next one will be post in a few days ;)


	21. Chapter 21

“More to the left,” Sam says, hands on his belly. “Here?”

“No, the other left.”

Dean gives him a bitch face but Sam shoots back his cutest smile, knowing that his brother can’t resist him.

He moves the frame again – a picture of Dean, their dad, their mom, and him. It’s the only one that didn’t burn in the fire, and they chose to put it in their son’s room.

Growing up, Sam always wished he had more pictures. He wants tons of pictures to fill the walls of their house. He wants the house to be full of love and happiness and for his child to know that he’s loved; that he’s a part of something.

 

They take pictures together, ones where they’re kissing, laughing and smiling, and then they put them everywhere. Sam promises himself that after the birth, he’ll take some special pictures for Dean, too. He deserves it after being such a good sport.

“Alright, I think we’re good,” Dean announces proudly, hugging Sam from behind.

It’s a lovely room. They choose a light yellow, that makes the room luminous. Dean made the cradle himself, making sure to put as many protectives symbols on it that he could. The whole house itself is full of symbols, traps, and all the things that assure them that nothing can come in - or get out.

A few days ago, Sam found the same angelic figure that was in their room when they were little, and they placed it in the nursery too. Much to Sam’s surprise, Dean spent that night telling stories about their mom.

“It’s beautiful,” Sam says, placing his hands on top of Dean. Their wedding bands clink together, and Sam can’t help looking at the two rings. It may only be a piece of paper, but it means so much for them. They’re officially married, husbands for better or for worse.

“Yeah, it is,” Dean kisses his head before rubbing his stomach. “You can get out now, son.”

It still makes Sam shivers to hear Dean says “son” and his heart picks up a crazy rhythm. He can’t wait to see Dean and their baby, can already imagine the two of them together.

“Don’t tell him that. He needs to wait three more weeks.” “I’m sure he doesn’t mind. It must be so warm inside.”

“Hmm..yeah, well, I still want him to get out one day soon. I can’t even see my feet anymore.” Sam complains, moving downstairs.

“You want me to give you a massage?” Dean laughs, sitting on the couch. “It’s the least you can do,” Sam says, putting his feet on Dean’s lap.

Dean makes a disgusted face but still massages Sam’s feet.

It’s funny, how domestic they’ve become, and how fast it happened. They’ve both grow up and they’re more than ready to welcome their son.

Sam won’t go back to school for a few months after the pregnancy, but he still takes his classes online, refusing to fully give up on his studies.

“How many children do you want?” Dean asks, applying more pressure to Sam’s feet.

“This is the only child we will ever have. I love you, I love him, but I’m not doing a second pregnancy.”

“You sayin’ that because you got hemorrhoids?” Sam kicks him, which only make Dean laugh.

“It’s not funny, you asshole!” Sam pouts. “It hurts.”

 

“I know babe.” Dean tries to look sorry, but fails miserably and starts laughing again, much to Sam annoyance.

“I hope you get some too.”

“That’s really mean, Sammy.” Dean puts his hand on his heart, pretending to be hurt before puckering up and asking for a kiss.

Sam rolls his eyes before kissing him, never able to resist. “And you? How many do you want?”

“Well, more than one. I don’t want our son to be alone, you know? In all those years of growing up on the road, I just… I think that if you weren’t there, I would have been so… lonely. I want him to know what it’s like to have someone that is always by your side.”

“So two children?” Sam says, trying not to let show how much Dean’s words are affect him. “Yeah, or maybe three. Or four. Or five.”

“I hope you’ll find someone to carry all those children.” Dean laughs, pulling Sam against him.

“I’ll take as many children you want to give me. One or ten, it doesn’t matter.” “Do you… do you think Mom and Dad wanted other children? After me, I mean.” Dean stays silent for a moment, rubbing Sam’s arm slowly.

He always talk about their parents’ marriage like it was the full of love marriage everybody wants. But it wasn’t. They loved each other, they truly did, but it didn’t mean that it was all happiness and joy. He remembers his dad walking away for two entire weeks once and how badly they’d fight.

“I don’t know, Sam. I don’t think so.”

“They weren’t us, you know. No one's ever been us. We’re… people, they fall out of love, but we can’t stop loving each other. You’ll always be my brother, and I’ll always be yours.”

“I loved you before you were even born. What makes you think I’ll stop one day?” Sam smiles, kissing Dean again before moving on top of him, straddling his lap.

“Oh, you won’t. I won’t let you,” Sam says, his hands traveling up and down Dean’s torso. “I love when you get all bossy like that, Sammy.”

He puts his hands on his waist, letting Sam move a little. It’s the only position they can use to have sex now, but Dean is sure that it’s his favorite. He loves seeing Sam fucking himself on his cock, bouncing like his life depends on it. He loves the way Sam closes his eyes, as if he is in another world, before coming hard, sometimes without even being touched.

“Not a good idea,” Dean says, his erection resting under Sam’s ass.

 

“Why?”

“What if it hurts the baby?”

“Doc said it was ok,” Sam moans, grinding faster. “Yeah, but what if he’s wrong?”

Sam stops moving his hips, looking at Dean with the bitchiest face he’s ever seen. “So no sex for the rest of the month? Then no sex for like, a few months after that?” “Look at my little slut.”

Sam hits him.

“Fine. You don’t want me. I’ll do it myself.”

To Dean’s surprise, Sam looks angry, stomping up the stairs while grumbling something Dean can’t understand.

He follows him, wondering how Sam went from cute and in love to angry in a blink.

“Sam?” Dean says, entering the room where Sam is sitting on the bed “What are you doing?” “What you don’t want to do,” Sam replies, taking his shirt off.

“I’m sorry for taking care of you and the baby, Sam. And I don’t think it’s nice to be angry at someone for not wanting to have sex.”

Sam opens his mouth to answer but close it again before looking ashamedly to the floor.

“Sorry,” he whispers “I just… I know that I’m… big, now, but I don’t want you not to want me anymore because of that.”

“Yeah, you’re big with our baby, and that’s beautiful. You’re still awfully glorious.” A blush spreads through Sam’s cheek and he smiles shyly.

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are,” Dean says, sitting on the bed, “Maybe we could do something else. Something not penetrative.”

“What are you thinking?” Sam says, biting his lip.

“Well,” Dean whispers, climbing on top of Sam, “I could blow you.” Dean kisses his neck, “I could lick you.” He bites on Sam’s sweet spot, “Or I could ride you.”

“What?”

“We could… we could change it up? If you want...” “Really?”

“I don’t mind.” Dean says as if it’s nothing. Which it’s not, but Sam doesn’t need to know that.

 

“No. I mean, I want to, but I want to do it right, like you did with me.”

“You want to be drunk off your ass out and not remember a thing the next morning?”

“No!” Sam laughs, shoving Dean off “I want to make it special, and full of love. I want to make you let go.”

“You don’t need to,” Dean says, embarrassed.

“But I want too.” Sam kisses him, and God, the kid has gotten better at kissing. “One more reason for our boy to come out.”

“Yeah,” Sam says, putting his hands behind his head, “Still up for that blowjob?” Dean laughs before sliding Sam’s pants off.

Less than a month, and their son will be here.


	22. Chapter 22

“Dean?” Sam whispers, turning the light on “Dean!”

“What?” Dean wakes up while pulling his gun out from under his pillow. “Dude, the fuck?” “It hurts!” Sam complains, his hands on his belly, “Do something, Dean!”

“Hey, Sammy, hush, it’s ok, alright?”

Sam is in pain, he keeps groaning and breathing hard, not caring about what Dean is saying. He got up when Dean told him too, and he’s glad his brother made them sleep on the couch last night because there’s no way he would have been able to get down the stairs.

He takes big breath, one hand on his belly, the other on his back as Dean helps him get in the car.

“You’ve got to hold on babe, we’re almost there,” Dean says, driving as fast as he can.

It takes them ten minutes to get to the hospital, and Sam keeps moaning in pain and shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

“Hey, my husband is in labor!” Dean yells at the poor receptionist, who simply looks at him with a smile.

“Alright then, let’s get ready, should we?”

Sam needs to wait a few hours before he’s allow an epidural, which means that during that time, he’s in an incredible pain. Dean wishes he could take it away and be in pain himself, anything to not see his brother in such an awful state.

“How are you doing?” Dean asks some time later, pushing his hair behind his ear. “It hurts, but it’s better now.”

“We’re having a baby!” Dean whispers, kissing him.

“Yeah, we are,” Sam laughs, squeezing Dean’s hand when another contraction hit him.

Sometimes, Dean can’t believe how lucky he is. He looks at Sam and he’s afraid he’ll disappear, that maybe all of this is just a dream, because there’s no way life can be this good. He remembers a few months ago, how dirty he felt for thinking about his brother that way.

How he wished he could run away from Sam, as far away as possible, just to be sure that he wouldn’t hurt him.

But here they are, at the hospital, Sam’s smiling at him softly as they’re waiting for their son.

Maybe it’s not the life they planned, but it’s so much better than anything he could have asked for.

Two hours later, Sam has his legs spread, the doctor sitting between them, as he asks him to push as hard as he can.

 

“Come on Sammy, you can do it.”

“I can’t, Dean, it’s too much!” Sam cries, letting his head fall on the bed. “Of course, you can! You’re a Winchester, right?”

Sam nods, taking Dean’s hand again before pushing again, harder and longer this time. “Dean, I… something’s wrong, something’s wrong, I can’t-”

Dean is about to protest but he sees how Sam’s face suddenly goes pale, and how he lets go of his hand, unable to hold it anymore.

“Sam? Sam!” He yells, trying to get his brother to respond.

“Sir, I need you to step out,” A nurse says, putting her hand on his arm.

“No! I’m staying with him! What’s happening?!” He yells again, pushing the nurse away. “Sir, if you don’t get out, we may not be able to save them.”

Dean whole body freezes at her words, and he looks at his little brother, completely unconscious now, and all the blood draining out of him.

He stands in front of the closed door, his mind completely blank.

He saw the blood. Too much blood. He knows what it means, knows it too well. He can hear the cardiac monitor going flat, doctors and nurses running in the room.

No. He can’t lose them. He can’t. God, he’s the one who did this, he’s the one who got his brother pregnant. He’s the one who killed his brother.

They need to make it, both of them, they need to be alive. He can’t live without Sam. He can’t. Don’t take his Sam away, please, anything but that.

He takes his phone out of his pocket, acting on auto-pilot, and dials the only number he knows can help him, the only one he needs right now.

“ _Hello?”_

Dean takes a big breath, the words stuck in his throat. Talking makes everything too real, and he doesn’t want it to be. He wants to wake up next to Sammy again, wants to make them pancakes and watch Sam’s stupid documentaries. He wants to see his dimples again, the way his eyes light up when he laughs.

 _“I… Sam, there’s a problem, I don’t… they made me leave the room, but there’s… God, there’s so much blood, and he was so pale… he won’t… he won’t make it, I can’t live without him, I can’t, I- Dad, I don’t know what to do. I need you, please, I need you.”_ Dean slides to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, don't hate me please


	23. Chapter 23

 

When Mary was pregnant with Dean, she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to make it to the hospital in time. Her mom had had her in a car, and she was sure the same thing would happen to her.

It didn’t, far from it. They spent two whole days at the hospital before little Dean showed his face. The doctor kept joking about how he though Dean would never get out of Mary’s belly.

When she was pregnant with Sam, she fell in the shower and they rushed her to the Emergency Room. John thought the baby might not make it, and by extension, he thought Mary might not either.

But baby Sam came, all chubby and crying, the cutest thing John ever seen.

He remembers staying awake sometimes, just looking at his sons, promising himself that he would keep them safe no matter what.

 

 

Standing there, in the hospital, with his older son crying in his arms, he wonders if this is all because of him. If he put some curse on his family. His dad had disappeared, then Mary, and now Sam, the little boy he used to kiss goodnight, the one that always asked for books when others asks for toys, might not make it.

The worst thing, the thing that he can’t keep out of his mind, is knowing that maybe this is better.

He found out the truth about the night Mary died a year ago, and he keeps learning new things every day. Bad things. Demon blood, Boy King, Apocalypse. Words that he wishes were never associated with his sweet and innocent Sammy. He couldn’t believe it at first. How could someone as pure as Sam could be such a monster?

When Dean told him about them, John wondered if that was it. If the demon blood wasn’t only gonna take his youngest son away, but his older, too.

He tried to warn Dean and end up losing both of them.

Probably for the best, though, because now, he knows that what Dean and Sam have between them is real, and even if he doesn’t agree with it, he wants his sons to be happy.

He’ll face Lucifer himself if he has to.

“What if he doesn’t come back?” Dean asks, his voice rough from crying. “He’s been in there… God, he’s been there for so long…”

“It only been one hour. Dean, we don’t know, alright? I can’t promise you that it will be fine, but they’re doing their best.”

“I know,” Dean sighs, pushing the tears away. “Thanks for coming, Dad.”

 

“Yeah, we didn’t separate on great terms, did we?”

“No,” Dean admits, eyes down. “You told me that Sam was evil.” He laughs, sniffing, and John’s stomach twists knowing how he must have hurt his son. “How was I supposed to react?”

“I didn’t say that, Dean. I said… look, there’s something in Sam, I can’t tell you what it is, but it might… it might have a link to the thing that killed your mom.”

“You said that Sam was… you said he was evil. You said… Fuck, Dad, you said he was some kind of demon!” Dean snaps, anger rising through him.

“Yes, because it’s the truth!”

“He’s your son! How can you say that?!”

“Dean, I just… look, I’m dealing with it, alright? I will take care of everything.” John promises, at the same time the room finally opens, the doctor coming out. He’s covered in blood - his son’s blood-

“Mr Winchester?”

“Yes.” they both answer at the same time. “How are they?” Dean asks, standing up.

“Sam lost a lot of blood, he… his body wasn’t working fast enough, and the baby was too big, which caused a hemorrhage. His heart couldn’t handle it and we had to revive him. He’s stable now.”

“Oh God!” Dean says, taking his dad in his arms. “He’s ok, son, he’s ok.”

“And the baby? How’s our baby?” Dean asks.

“You have a really beautiful and healthy son, Mr. Winchester. We were able to get him out before Sam’s heart stopped.”

“Can I see them? Please.”

The doctor nods before letting Dean into the room.

Dean heart is pounding in his chest. He’s still not entirely reassured, won’t be until he sees his brother and his son. His son. He’s gonna meet his son.

“Hey,” he says, entering the room. Sam is in the bed, looking weaker than ever, but alive. “You look like crap.”

Sam gives him a weak smile and Dean can feel his heart clenching with how frail Sam looks. He tries not to show it and smiles too before moving to the bed, taking his brother’s hand in his.

“Fuck, Sam, you scared me you little bitch!”

 

Sam laughs, squeezing Dean’s hand. “I’m fine,” he says, “Sorry I scared you.”

“You’re ok. Both of you, that’s all that matters.” “Where… where’s the baby?”

“Right here,” the nurse says, a little boy in her arms. “I think someone wants to meet you.” Dean helps Sam sit up, and the nurse puts their baby in his arms.

He’s tiny, so tiny, and Dean won’t listen to the nurse telling him that he’s the perfect size for a baby. How can being so little be normal?

“Hello baby.” Sam says, letting the baby take his finger “He’s so little.”

“He’s beautiful,” Dean whispers, caressing the baby’s cheek “Welcome to the world, Jude John Winchester.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I wasn't gonna kill Sammy, poor thing.  
> The baby name isn't super great, but it's link to Mary and John, which I think would be important for Sam and Dean.  
> Also, really important note : this story is finished, I only have the prologue to post, so I was wondering if you want to read more or if it's ok to stop here?  
> Let me know because otherwise, I'll just post the prologue ;)


	24. Chapter 24

Dean collapses on the bed next to Sam, every single one of his muscles hurting him. He knew having a baby wouldn’t be easy, but this? This is freaking exhausting.

“Do you think we can give him back?” He asks, eyes closed.

This earns him a punch in the shoulder by Sam, and he laughs before rolling on his side so he can take Sam in his arms.

“He’s cute,” Sam says, rubbing the back of Dean’s hands. “Yeah, he is.”

They’ve been home for a few weeks now, and they’ve had a hard time adapting to their new lifestyle. Sam wouldn’t hold Jude, wouldn’t do anything but stay in bed, and even if things are getting better, it’s still painful for Dean to watch his brother being so distant with their son, not that he blames him.

“I think we should go out tomorrow” Dean whispers, caressing Sam’s hair “Just the two of us, you know? Maybe a movie or something.”

“What about Jude?”

“Well, Dad is here for that, right?”

That’s another thing, too. Since Jude’s birth, their dad has chosen to stay with them, mostly to help them, but also to be there if anything happens. Sam wasn’t really happy about the idea, and maybe it played into his depression, because he ended up feeling like a stranger in his own home.

“Yeah, we could do that.” Sam agrees before putting his head on Dean’s chest, right where he can feel his heart beating.

They both fall asleep quickly, the exhaustion brought on by their newborn overtaking them.

Sam is the first one to wake up when Jude starts screaming, and he slowly drags himself to the nursery. Dean is already back to work, and he needs all the sleep he can get.

“Hey Jude,” he whispers, taking his son in his arms. The baby stops crying as soon as he’s against Sam chest, searching for his nipple unsuccessfully.

Sam smiles before sitting on the chair next to the bed. He wasn’t sure about breastfeeding Jude but given how hard it was for him to bond with him, he changed his mind quickly.

He feels bad for having so much trouble with the baby. He loves him, more than anything, but the trauma of the delivery is still too much to handle. When he opened his eyes again back at the hospital, all he could see was blood, everywhere, and he thought his son was dead. He thought he had killed him. He’s afraid that if he touches Jude too much, he’ll end up hurting him, again.

“Sam?” John says, walking into the nursery.

 

“Hey Dad.”

“I knew I heard this little boy crying,” John smiles, taking Jude’s hand in his “You’re not giving your daddy a hard time, are you?”

“No, it’s fine,” Sam replies, maybe a little too cold. He doesn’t want too, but he can’t deal with the baby and his dad coming back in their life.

John looks at him for a long time, only making the guilt inside of Sam flare up. “Do you want me to leave, Sam?”

“I… No.”

“I think you do,” John admits before sitting on the floor in front of the chair “And I think that you’re afraid of hurting Jude, too. Am I right?”

Sam bites his lip, rubbing the back of Jude’s hand as he watches his baby eating. He looks so peaceful, so quiet. So fragile.

“You know, your mom failed when she was pregnant with you. We had to go to the hospital, and she had an emergency delivery.”

“Dad, I don’t-“

“She thought she had killed you. She wouldn’t stop crying, even after seeing you. It took weeks before she finally started feeling good again, and after that, she was the most loving mom ever. She was closer to you than she was too Dean when he was a baby.” John smiles, memories flashing back in his mind. Sometimes, Sam has trouble remembering that this was his life before, that Mary isn’t just a part of his imagination. Their life is so different now. “All I’m saying Sammy, is that being a parent, it’s hard. Maybe a little more for some people than others but being afraid for your baby is the most normal thing. Hell, I’m still worry about the two of you most of the time.”

Sam laughs a little, tears running silently down his face. He wants to be a good dad for Jude, he wants to be a good husband for Dean. But he doesn’t know how, and it scares him.

“What if… what if I do something bad, Dad?”

“Then you’ll be like every parent,” John laughs before putting his hand on his son’s. “You’ll be good, Sam. I can already see it. All your baby need is for you to love him. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“I can do that,” Sam whispers. “I know you can.”

They stay like that for a long time, Jude eating from Sam breast while John sits silently on the floor, holding Sam’s hand. They still have a lot to work through, but they have time to do that.

“Dad? I’m sorry for… for everything I put you through, before.” “I wasn’t the best dad. But maybe I still can make it right?”

 

“Yeah, you can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway, I think the next chapter will be the prologue, unless some of you want to see a particular scene ? Just let me know ;)


	25. Epilogue

  
 

Sam looks at his watch for what seems to be the hundredth time today. He still has twelve minutes to go before finally going home, but every minute feels like a lifetime. 

He tries to focus on what his teacher is saying, and while he’s usually good at it, all he can think about today is that Dean and Jude are probably already waiting for him in front of the building. 

He’s the first one out of the classroom, ignoring the dirty look his teacher gave him, or how his friends laugh at his impatience. 

It’s Father’s Day today, and while Jude and he gave Dean most of his presents this morning, he still has one he wants to give him. 

He’s so caught in his thoughts that he doesn’t see the guy in front of him until they both end up with their asses on the floor. 

“Shit, I’m sorry,” he says, getting up as fast as he can before helping the guy. “Are you ok?” 

“Yeah, no problem, I’m just-” The guy frowns, looking at Sam intensely for a few moments without letting go of his hand. “Sam?” 

“Yeah?” This time, it’s Sam’s turn to frown. He has no idea how this guy knows his name, but he’s almost sure he never seen him before. “Do I know you?” 

“In another lifetime, yeah,” the guy laughs. “Uh, we were in the same school for a few months when we were 16. I’m Brandon.” 

As soon as he hears the name, something in his mind clicks and a wide smile appears on his face. It’s been five years since he’s last seen Brandon and he’s changed a lot to say the least.

“Dude, I didn’t recognize you!” Sam says, looking at his old friend again. “It’s been so long.”

“Yeah, since you disappeared suddenly you mean.” 

A wave of guilt rolls through Sam. He was so caught in the excitement of seeing Brandon again that he’d forgotten the way things had ended. 

“About that, I’m sorry, I just- “ 

“Had a baby on the way,” Brandon cuts him off.

“Yeah, I did,” Sam laughs. “But still, I’m sorry for… everything.”

“I missed you, you know. After you left, I kept thinking about our last conversation and I…I felt really guilty.” 

“I should be the one feeling guilty. You were my best friend.” 

They both smiled then, forgiving each other for everything that happened. He’d always wondered what had happened to Brandon after he’d left, but he couldn’t reach out, and even if he could have, he wasn’t sure Brandon would’ve wanted to talk to him. 

“So, you’re studying here?” Brandon asks

“Yeah, I’m in my second year here. You?” 

“Just transferred in. Can you believe it? We’re at Stanford dude!” Brandon licked his lips awkwardly before rubbing his hair, “So, uh, did you… you know, keep it?” 

“Keep what?” 

“The baby?” 

“Oh!” Sam laughs, following quickly by Brandon. It’s been years since the last time they called Jude “it”, and he almost forgot. “Yes, I totally kept it. He’s four, actually.” 

“Four? Damn!” Brandon smiles before pointing to Sam’s hand. “And I see that you’re an honest man now.”

“Yeah,” he laughs. “I got married a few years ago now. And yeah, Jude is… He’s growing up really fast. Way too fast, in my opinion.” They share another laugh and Sam gives a quick look at his phone when he feels it buzzing. There’s a picture of Dean and Jude on the hood of the impala, and a text saying, “ _Waiting for Daddy!”_ under it. “Hey, I need to go, but maybe we could see each other again?” 

“Totally! I want to meet your son, and it’s been a long time since the last time I saw Dean.” 

Sam’s smile disappears right away, and he can feel his heart sink. No one here knows that Dean is his brother, and he has no idea how Brandon would know about them. 

“I- listen-”

“Sam, it’s cool. I’ve known about it since the first time I saw you together.” 

“You did?” Sam frowns, even through he’s relieved that Brandon isn’t going to make a big deal out of it. 

“Yeah. Listen, we’ll talk about it later, alright? I should be in class right now.” 

“Yes, sure!” 

They exchange numbers before telling each other goodbye, and Sam can’t help but look at Brandon as he walks away. He can’t believe that they’re together again, after all this time. He runs to the parking lot where Dean and Jude are waiting for him, a basket of food in their hands. 

“What is that?” He asks, swinging Jude into his arms before kissing Dean. “Missed you so much,” he whispers against his brother’s lips. 

“It’s our picnic, love. And I missed you, too.” 

They hike up to the park, Jude holding Sam’s hand while Sam hold Dean’s. It’s a beautiful day, and they find a shady place under a tree, where they can hide from the sun and eat in peace. Sam tells Dean about Brandon, and how he knew about the two of them, but Dean doesn’t look even a little surprised. 

“He was smarter than you think, Sammy. Not that you were very discreet about it either.”  “You didn’t see it.” Sam points out, biting his brother’s sandwich just to piss him off. 

“Yeah, because I’m not smarter than you. But still.” Dean leans forward until he can drop a kiss on Sam’s lips. 

They watch Jude play in front of them for a while, talking about their days. Dean is still working at the garage, but the guy that owns it will be retiring soon and he’s already promised the place to Dean. Sam works in a coffee shop three day a week. It’s not a lot, but he makes it a point of honor to bring some money home. Every month, their dad sends them money too. He even promised Sam he was getting it legally.  They had felt bad for accepting it at first, but quickly changed their minds after their dad yelled at them for being stubborn and stupid. 

He still comes to see them from time to time, and he makes sure to always be there for Christmas and for at least Jude’s birthday. It was such a huge change to his personality that they thought he was possessed for a time, which earned them another argument after they splashed holy water in his face. 

“Can you believe he’s four already?” Sam asks, watching as Jude picked a flower. 

“No. He’s still my baby, you know? Hell, I still see you like you were at his age most of the time. Always talking nonsense, asking the same questions again and again until I answered it perfectly. You were a pain in the ass. At least Jude is adorable.” 

“You’re such a jerk!” Sam laughs, shoving Dean off. “You think you were better at his age?” 

“Yeah I was! Mom was already pregnant with you, so I was preparing myself to be a big brother. I remember how I kept watching women feeding their babies, wondering how it was even possible to do it, and they all thought I had some weird obsessions with boobs.” 

“You do have an obsession with boobs,” Sam laughs, and Dean can’t do anything but agree. 

“But only with yours, babe. And I would say that it was really useful, because when mom had you, I knew exactly how she was supposed to hold you. Well, I think she pretended not to know just to make me happy, but still.” 

“So, you think Jude should start watching women feeding their children, too?” 

“Why would he-” Dean frowns for a moment, his brain trying to puzzle through Sam’s words. Sam can barely contain his anxiety while waiting for Dean to catch up. He thought it was a good news, but given the lack of reaction from Dean, he’s not sure anymore. “Shit,” Dean finally says. 

“You’re not happy?” Sam asks, feeling insecure all over again. 

“Not happy? This is the best fucking news ever!” Dean yells before throwing himself at Sam’s neck, pulling him as close as he can. “Fuck, I can’t believe it!” He pushes Sam away, and Sam can almost see all the questions forming in Dean’s mind. “But with college, I mean, it’s not ideal, I-”

“It’s ok, I promise. I think I can deal with it, and if I can’t, there’s program for that. I just… I don’t want our kids to have such a gap between them, and I thought four years was perfect?”  “Damn right it is,” Dean laughs before kissing Sam, his hands finding their way toward his belly. “I love you, Sammy.” 

“Yeah, I know,” Sam laughs. “Can we tell Dad right now? It will be his father’s gift too.” 

“I swear the dude is turning into such a doting grand father with Jude, I can’t imagine him with two.” 

 

 

 

 

 

“Shit, I can’t believe it!” John says as he hears the news. “I’m happy for you guys. I’ll come see you as soon as possible. Tell Jude I love him too. Bye boys!” He smiles as he ends the call, looking at the pictures of his family he has on his wall. Mary is there, of course, and then there’s Sam, Dean, and little Jude. They all look so happy, so safe, and he wishes he could crawl into the pictures and never leave them. 

“Another grandchild, John?” the man smiles. “My my, our Boy King isn’t wasting any time. Does that make them all princes of Hell?” 

John clenches his jaw before throwing holy water in the demon’s face, making it twists and scream in pain. 

“Where’s Yellow Eyes?” he asks again. It’s always the same questions, always the same answers, but one day, one day he will get some decent information out of them.  “Yellow Eyes? Oh, he’s keeping a firm eye on your boys, don’t worry.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Here's the end, I guess.   
> I've been working on this fic for almost eight months, and I can't believe it's over. I really loved writing this, and I hope you all enjoyed reading it.   
> I know that the ending is pretty open, but I thought it was important to remember that they're in a Supernatural world, and that even if they're happy, demons and monsters are still there.  
> Thanks to all of you for all the comments and love you gave to me. You can't even imagine how happy that made me. I'm gonna miss this fic   
> Also, a special thanks to readerwriteme, who beta all this fic after I was dump numerous time by my betas. It's nice to be able to lean on someone.


End file.
